Just take your time. It’s not too late. I’ll be your mirror. You won’t hesitate. I’m easy to be found. Whenever you come down.

We had some windy conditions Monday and Tuesday of this week. My biking consisted of running errands and taking the long route home along the lake. So I was able to at least get in approx 5-6 miles.

Last night after work I bike the furthest north I ever have in Illinois. From my home in Buena Park up to Wilmette. I only stopped for traffic and to take pix. I was tempted to go to Tac Quick afterwards for a drink but decided I’d save those calories for the weekend.

I’m starting a new route for my bike ride tonight. Lakeshore trail to Hollywood where the Lakeshore Trail ends to the Rogers Park Greenway and thru Evanston to a trail I found on the east side of the North Channel to Green Bay Roadand over to the North Channel Trail west of the river south to Lawrence and then Lawrence to home. 30.5 miles according to Google Maps but the route I take is less direct and more scenic so I’m sure it’s a few more miles.

Saturday I plan to explore Evanston north along the lake to discover what I’ve yet to find and maybe lunch at Taco Diablo if I’m not too sweaty.

Sunday is an all new MKULTRASOUND PodCast with fashion designer Emily Sifrit of eKay Collection sitting in as co host with special guest Matt Zane vocalist for Society 1, guitarist, director, editor, photographer and author.

Sweet days of summer, the jasmine’s in bloom. July is dressed up and playing her tune. Summer breeze makes me feel fine. Blowin’ through the jasmine in my mind.

Phil Lewis posted this to Instgram and it just about sums it up. BH and I had plans to see them 2x this year.

I biked to Evanston Friday night and Saturday afternoon. I also visited the beach at Evanston. Here are some pix from the 2 most recent rides.

North Shore Channel Trail is a 13 mile lightly trafficked out and back trail located near Skokie, Illinois that features a river and is good for all skill levels. The trail offers a number of activity options and is best used from May until October.

The trail — a popular pedestrian and biking path stretching from Lincoln Square to the north suburbs — has always been separated by the North Shore Channel near Lincoln Avenue. A new bridge spanning the channel now makes the trail a single, nearly 7-mile continuous path from the North Side to suburbs Lincolnwood and Skokie.

For me bike riding isn’t just a form of exercise but is very therapeutic for me and is part of the reason I was so depressed in the spring being unable to bike the trails. When I read that the North Channel Trail bridge was complete in May it was game changer psychologically .

Friday night a it was becoming dusk I stopped into Jersey Mikes and for the first time ordered a GIANT sub. This was the Buffalo chicken of the variety and it was damned heavy. 2 meals.

With almost everything closed in Evanston and by this time in the late afternoon I had almost 40 miles of biking for the day, I stopped into Hansa Clipper in Lincoln Square for a quick refreshment. Double Jamo on the rocks with a pint of ice water.

BLM the only band getting any gigs in 2020
My sanctuary until this summer. Montrose Beach vacant on a perfect summer Sunday.

My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night; But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends— It gives a lovely light!

Summer in Chicago. Its one of the biggest reason that I still live here The weather this season has been better than it has been in the most resent summers. Just one thing, the beaches are closed and thanks to COVIC – 19 so is almost everything else fun. The neighborhood fests I’ve come to love and concerts of any kind. Not happening. Last summer I hardly got any biking in and that includes work commute. Maybe 20 x all of 2019. This year I bike to Evanston several x a week for leisure and to help get the weight I’e gained this year due to self quarantine and all of the restrictions put in place. For months the mayor had the Lakefront Bike Trails closed.

The lakefront has served as my gym for 21 summers. It has also been my fortress of solitude and when I’ve had stretch of unemployment in the summer, it’s where I went to feel better. It’s free. At least it was.

Depressing and it is the fact that I can’t help but be depressed as the reason I haven’t mad time to sit down and update this Diary of a Damned Man. It seems right when things start going good another event happens that just puts a damper on my emotions.

Depressed that I’ve gain so much weight by doing what I’ve been told and for months STAYED AT HOME except for going to the store for necessities. Even though most of all my shopping has been done online.

Crime and violence in Chicago are at an all time high. People have no fear of consequences since the States Attorney releases so many felons, and these include a lot of illegal gun convictions felons. Our Mayor seems to encourage disrespect of the Chicago Police Department and she is a fucking joke. She doesn’t address what the real problem is in her city. She never addresses her own people that don’t follow the guidelines of mandatory mask wearing and social distancing. As the COVID- – 19 cases spike again she punishes bar owners. Look around dammit.

Thursday after work my plan was to bike to Evanston. It was so windy that I scrapped that idea and only did about 5 miles. I went to Marianos to pick up a few items and discovered someone had stolen the bungee cords from my bike rack. Luckily I had 2 backpacks adjusted them and rode around w/ 2 backpacks on.

Earlier in the summer someone was nice enough to steal my bikes seat. I planned on a new one anyway but was another example of how its hard to have anything nice in this city without someone fucking it up. And I’m paying the rent I pay to live in a “safe” neighborhood.

Last Tuesday I biked south on the Lakefront Trail for the first time all year. I was anxious to see the Navy Pier Flyover which is years passed its completion date. I noticed as I got around Fullerton that the erosion and damage from this past winter winter weather had torn up all of the concrete much of which was new for the expansion of lanes for pedestrians and bikes. The traffic was sparse thus finally letting me know why the trail north up by me is so crowded. The lake is insanely high this year. There’s almost no beach at Oak to Ohio and the water is up on the northbound lane of the path.

I was excited to see most of the flyover complete but as I approached the Chicago River Bridge came upon a virtual maze as there is still one final phase yet to be finished It will be wonderful when they finally have it under wraps.

Preview of the Navy Pier Flyover pedestrian bike path project (Phase 1)

The much-anticipated completion of the Navy Pier Flyover bike and pedestrian path has been delayed again, due to the need for more extensive repairs on the Depression-era Lake Shore Drive bridge over the Chicago River, city officials said.

The $64 million flyover, started in 2014, is now expected to be complete by the end of this year. The city had originally planned to cut the ribbon on the flyover in 2018, then last year, then this spring.

To complete work on the Lake Shore Drive bridge, there also will be a new traffic configuration on lower Lake Shore Drive, starting Monday. Northbound vehicle traffic, currently moving on the east side of the bridge, will be moved to the center of the bridge. Northbound vehicles on lower Lake Shore Drive will be able to access upper Lake Shore Drive, but will no longer be able get to Illinois Street and Grand Avenue, according to city officials.

The final phase of the flyover construction involves both repairing the 83-year-old Lake Shore Drive bridge and building the flyover on the bridge’s eastern side. This will widen the pedestrian and bike portion from 9 to 16 feet.

Even if the flyover were finished, its use this spring would be limited by the extensive damage to the Lakefront Trail. Due to flooding caused by high lake levels and the resulting damage to pavement, large sections of the trail are closed, including Fullerton to North Avenues, and Oak to Ohio streets.

Last week as I made my escape to the southwest burbs I got the sad news that a very good friend and music business associate had passed away doing what he loved. He had a heart attack while DJing a wedding. I’ve known Rick Linus since 1999 when he was a college radio intern at Rebel Radio while I worked there. We worked together in the industry and I had PRONG hire him to do their merch. His 2 favorite bands were The Misfits and Ministry. Incidentally it was Rick who introduced me to Man B Que.

He was a great guy and he will surly be missed. Rick Linus leaves behind his beautiful wife Melissa and son Victor.

Rick, his wife Melissa (before they were dating) and AZ 2009 at a Skinny Puppy Concert at the House of Blues. I got them into a box seat with me that night.

Friday July 24th was to be our family reunion back home and a sort of memorial for my father who passed away on April 8th right after the mandatory self quarantine went into effect. As if things haven’t been depressing enough the reunion was cancelled due to the recent spike in COVID cases. Instead on Saturday the 25th I took Metra out to Aurora when I met up with another very good and very alive friend Bob (Newbomb Turk) Hoeksema. I had no idea how badly I needed this till I got there and with the heatwave being what it was spent from about 1 PM till almost midnight outdoors on his beautiful wood deck in the shade of his giant trees in his huge private fenced in back yard with the company of his dogs Otis and Lugar.

My buddy Lugar (RIP) and Gunther

A nice strip steak and the first steak I’ve had in years.

The newbie a very playful Otis posing for me

Bob fills the pool and the dogs go nuts

Two Phil Campbell signature guitars: Philip Anthony Campbell (born 7 May 1961) is a Welsh rock musician, best known as the lead guitarist in Motörhead from 1984 to 2015. The band disbanded upon the death of founder and frontman Lemmy. He currently tours with his own band Phil Campbell and the Bastard Sons, featuring his three sons; Todd, Dane and Tyla.

As dusk set in Bob set up his digital projector where we watched the 3 hour long Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. The pull-down screen and speakers are attached to the back of his house.

I was to discover the next day that it was exactly one year since the movie debuted on American screens.

Another treat of visiting BH, Sunday morning breakfast. A tradition.You should see his breakfast pizza!

When I got home it was over 100 degrees inside, I closed all of the windows and closed the curtains, turned on the shower, turned on the AC and set up the fans. Katrina and Anny were happy to have me home. I made some drinks and watched Wild Horses with Robert Duvall and James Franco and Hells Angels on Wheels with Jack Nicholson.

So many Amazon boxes for the cats to sit in this year.

I feel compelled to include this food tasty item from the gay iHop in Boystown the CHICKEN FAJITA OMELETTE

The perfect fiesta in one package. Our omelette stuffed with grilled chicken breast with Poblano & red bell peppers, roasted onions & Jack & Cheddar cheese blend. Served with salsa, sour cream & grilled Serrano pepper.

I had this after Ellen the current cohost of the MKULTRASOUND Podcast drove me to the laundromat and grocery store to shop for food for Alex Zanders Rock n Roll BBQ 2020.

The guest of honor Nick Huffman owner of the Looney Bin in Bradley IL. One of the funniest and kindest people I’ve ever met

Max Bravo took over grilling duties thankfully as I played host.

Dare I say survivors?

Ellenita grilling vegan burgers for her and Cassie

Hairdresser to the stars SY L SPICER

My favorite place to eat off of Argye, PHO VIET. I took Ellenita there and on July 2 brought Brad Wattle here the day before we drove to Indianapolis for July 4 weekend.

Papaya Salad

Banh Mi Thit Heo Nuong

Grilled marinated pork sub with cucumbers, cilantro, jalapeno peppers, sour carrots, radishes and green onions

Friday morning July 3rd we went to the final day of the north side location of the Vienna Beef Factory and store and I stocked up.

We crossed the state line and bought as many fireworks as we could carry

The back of the Wattles family home where we spent a lot of time during the weekend. They were kind enough to have Brad drive to Chicago abd get me and then both Brad and Dawn brought me home to Chicago on Monday the 6th.

July 4th Dawns delicious deviled eggs


The cacti Xmas gifts I gave them years ago still alive and growing.

Jeff “Creepy” Brown who was longtime asst editor on MK ULTRA from 1995 till 1997 in the kitchen.

AZ, Brad Wattles and Jeff “Creepy” Brown

Back home July 6th at El Palmar

I can’t go a summer without Bobs Pickle Pops

Athletes of all types are reaching for pickle juice for leg cramps.


All our lives we sweat and save. Building for a shallow grave. Must be something else we say. Somehow to defend this place. Everything must be this way. Everything must be this way, yeah.


So close and convenient to home. I just LOVE this place. Bought some new Cactus and a hanging plant.

In late June on one of my bike rides to Evanston I ventured into this place and much to my surprise the decor was suitable to yours truly. A limited menu but excellent high end tacos. Not to mention a damn good margarita. I met Ellenita here days later

A nice light lunch special salad and 2 tacos

Not the best pic of me but coneys my mood from a hellish CTA ride to Evanston. Look at those tacos!

Strange eyes fill strange rooms. Voices will signal their tired end. The hostess is grinning. Her guests sleep from sinning. Hear me talk of sin. And you know this is it.

Its been an interesting couple of weeks. I plotted and executed plans for this summers Rock N Roll BBQ. I began biking to Evanston when the weather and my time permits and over the most recent weAkend I discovered a great Mexican Restaurant called Taco Diablo 1026 Davis St, Evanston, IL which has some decor that suits my tastes just fine.

After the podcast on the 14th Ashley came by for a visit and it was really great seeing her again. I ordered Enchiladas from El Palmar 1008 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago, IL

I ordered some custom flasks from Jason Meudt of Laser Engrave Art and he included some goodies for me in the package. www.laserengraveart.com

This past Sunday Greg Miner stopped by to do the podcast while Cassie shot us with 3 cameras this time. Ellenita sat in and observed as I will be trying her out in a couple of weeks as a co host. I REALLY miss Yvette and all that she brought to the show.

Ma, take this badge off of me. I can’t use it any more. It’s getting dark, too dark to see. Feel like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door

Transit Night Club 2004

with Stacy Burke at GlamorCon

The MK ULTRA family lost another member last month in one of our most loyal and talented photographers Karlton. Last night I got an email from his daughter Erika who is now reaching out to his friends letting them know know he passed away in May from a COVID 19 related illness.

I started working with Karlton just before my mother passed away in the summer of 2004 and worked on my UltraviXXXens project, and then GlamorCon and many other events.. In 2005 we attended the AVN AEE in Las Vegas which like GlamorCon was an adults only fun filled fest in its own. We worked off and on till about 2010 and I became engulfed in the corporate world in order to make ends meet, a world I’m in to this day.

He will be greatly missed by all of the varied personalities he worked with and befriended. He was definitely one of a kind and I stress the work KIND, because he was.

We will have a tribute to K RAWK on tomorrows MKULTRASOUND PodCast.

GlamorCon 2004
With porn star Gauge at Embassy Suites 2005

Wishful, sinful, wicked blue water covers you. Wishful, sinful, wicked you can’t escape the blues. Magic rising, Sun is shining deep beneath the sea but not enough for you and me…. and sunshine. Love to hear the wind cry.

6/15/2020: Got more biking miles in tonight than I have any one day this year. I got to see how much North Elston has changed. Tomorrow up to Evanston and back via The North Channel Trail.

It’s been a coons age, 12/2019 since I first had a Popeyes Spicy Chicken Sandwich w Dale Patrick Bennett. 6 mos later I went back for 3. One is for my ride tomorrow night.

6/16/2020: I left home at 5PM and took the complete North Channel Trail to Evanston and back. 26 mile round trip, had Coldstone ice cream and biked back home. Doing it again tomorrow.

Can I interfere in your crisis
can I have a taste of your ice cream
Can I have a taste of your ice cream
can I lick the crumbs from your table
Can I lick the crumbs from your table
can I interfere in your crisis

No, mind your own business

The North Shore Channel Trail is a 13 mile lightly trafficked out and back trail located near Skokie, Illinois that features a river and is good for all skill levels. The trail offers a number of activity options and connects to the Skokie Northshore Sculpture Park. A arrow 2-mile expanse of landscaped walkways & bike trails displaying 60+ sculptures of all types. From my home it’s roughly 4.5 miles to the start of the trail at Francisco and one I’m at Church St and McCormick Blvd it’s another 3.5 to the part of Evanston which has been my destination.

Ah, the moon’s too bright, The chain’s too tight. The beast won’t go to sleep. I’ve been running through these promises to you. That I made and I could not keep. Ah, but a man never got a woman back. Not by begging on his knees, Or I’d crawl to you baby and I’d fall at your feet And I’d howl at your beauty like a dog in heat.

I’ve put a lot of work into my porch this week and ordered 4 new chairs and threw some old ones out. Right now I’m debating when to host this summers Rock n Roll BBQ.

The pepper plants are doing very well. Only a month in and I’m able to put a little TLC into them being that I’m home so much.

Got bad news this week that my old friend Mike Shoemakers wife Miranda passed away. I was the best man at their wedding.

Also this week Darren Henderson’s father Art passed away. I knew Art during the years I grew up in Morristown. Darren and my brother Blue were best friends growing up.

And sadly Dave and Rob Ganz’s father passed away at only 66 yrs old. I stayed at his house a few times and he was always super cool with all of us. He even dressed like Svengoolie one year.

Saturday I left early and took a walk to Aldi where I had gone the night before for groceries and then to Target to pick up a movie poster frame for the movie Pirates starring Jesse Jane, Devon, Teagan Presley, Janine and more. The original frame that I got for it back in 2005 was warping and I’d moved it from my apt down the street to this apt’s office in 2007 and then to the guest room and now its in the hallway.

When I got home I took my bike out to go to Aldi in Edgewater and to Mariano’s which is the most amazing supermarket.The Aldi location by far is much nicer and cleaner than the Uptown location. On my way I saw that the Buena Ave entrance to the Lakefront bike path was blocked but I did find a little known tunnel to the bike path and took it north to Hollywood and did my shopping.

Sheridan Rd is a mess with potholes all over and there’s no bike lane so it’s pretty scary. I was white knuckle the entire time. My bigest beef about the mayors plan is that the lakefront is still not open and again it makes absolutely no sense.

I spent the rest of the day rearranging the guest room and studio room.

Late Saturday I ordered the movie poster for my favorite Russ Meyer film for the hallway. It’ll go between Supervixens and Faster Pussycat Kill KiIl. So much, too much free time with this phase of reopening. I’m really starting to get angry over it.

Now, she’s fast, she’s bad and she’s Italian, she makes 100 miles per hour, oh yeah As we cross the city lights, she takes me higher, she’s the hottest one i’ve ever had, she’s just like fire She rocks around the clock, her motor never stops, till the sun comes up yeah Her engine cries all night with passion and desire, so you turn her on and refuel her with fire She’s got me in a trance, and i’m just getting higher

I haven’t posted any thoughts or adventures as of late because there’s been a lack of. Everything baout this year 2020 sucks more than anytime I ever care to live. Right when there easing up was upon us in Chicago the riots and looting and arson and criminal activity erupted with not one word from our fucking mayor about social distancing. I’ve stayed inside for 3 fucking months for what? People have lost jobs, businesses will never open again and nobody seems to care but rioting is just fucking fine. Its not the cute word the far left wants us to use like “unrest” it’s CRIMINAL! But no. they get a pass with no fear of consequence.

I started to feel normal Saturday when I biked up to BBQ w/ Max Bravo and Sunday Emily Sifrit came to do the podcast. We dines at Tac Quick the first time I’ve dined out since March 15 at El Mariachi. So I’m slowly reentering society even though the office isn’t opening till at least August. I intened to bike to Evanston and further every night after work.