When you’re down. It’s a long way up. When you’re up. It’s a long way down.

I have about 3 weeks of writing to catch up on and I will get around to all of it this weekend. For the loyalists out there it shall not be as boring as the first 6 wks of the year Marks visit here and the brief weekend we spent together in creating together and working with Cassie and the legendary Martin Atkins was a hoot. Lots of food and different places were explored and then Cassie got snowed in with us. 

My health is a bit of a concern but whatever the fuck it is I’ll beat it. I’ve been through worse and thanks to a few good friends I still have will do so with a whole lot to look forward to.

And a whole lotta rock n roll!

I’ve been walkin’, I’ve been freezin’. Freezin’ from a love I left behind. I’ve been searchin’, I’ve been searchin’ Can’t find my peace of mind. It’s gonna be a long cold winter. Long cold winter without your love.

Saturday Feb 16 8AM it began here

2/28/2019 This morning Diagnostic Ultrasound and not the ULTRASOUND that I have in the works from Studio D

- Cervical Doppler

-Lumbar AA Doppler

- US Abdominal Aorta

- US Kidney

I honestly thought this is the way nurses dressed till I started dating them.

Meanwhile another tour not coming to Chicago. I’ve only missed two of their tours since 1989 and it’s because they haven’t played Chicago. Meanwhile Ed will see them. 


By now I’ve documented that my tests came back with nothing negative to report. I do have to go on a diet to lower my cholesterol but that’s not biggie. It was a rough batch of tests though and the first two doctors didn’t even talk with me. The third doctor was a very pleasant lady a few years older than me, I think. When I told her may age she was taken back and told me I certainly didn’t look it. Flattering yet embarrassing.

“It sure used to be… We stood up for what was righAs I was preparing to go through yet another test this time for my kidneys she inquired about the book I was reading, “Unlearning Liberty” : Campus Censorship and the End of American Debate  by Greg Lukianoff and I gave her a very Cliffs Notes version and she asked me if I thought America would ever be great again. I did an abbreviated version of Will McAvoy from the Newsroom:t. We fought for moral reason. We passed laws, struck down laws, for moral reason. We waged wars on poverty, not on poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors, we put our money where our mouths were and we never beat our chest. We built great, big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists AND the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it. It didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in the last election and we didn’t scare so easy.”

I inquired as to the source of her accent and she told me she was raised in Communist Bulgaria. She asked if I knew where it was and if I had friends abroad. The conversation expanded and then she rolled me over and saw the Soviet tattoo on my lower back. That opened a whole new dialogue. It was refreshing. 

As she walked me out she told me it was nice to examine someone with my intellect. I nearly blushed. I shook her hand and told her it was a pleasure to make her acquaintance. 

I would go home and clean house and watch TV. Friday it was back to work and I came home and stressed all weekend over the results. 

The Bulgarian Communist Party Headquarters in ruins

I came home and before started rearranging the office and studio watched another episode of the finale season of The Americans

I hear the roar of a big machine. Two worlds and in between. Hot metal and methedrine. I hear empire down. I hear the roar of a big machine. Two worlds and in between. Love lost, fire at will. Dum-dum bullets and shoot to kill, I hear. Dive, bombers, and Empire down.

This was one of three trip we made to Tac Quick the weekend my old friend and now sponsor and executive producer Mark Williams made. We ate out…a lot

Night #1 of 2 we were up very late setting up and recording intros and drops for the MKULTRASOUND PodCast. He had flown in from Canada that morning with a layover in Detroit. I don’t know how he does it. Mark doesn’t drink anymore but he doesn’t preach. Neither of us had a problem sleeping this night but we had an early morning meeting, interview and brunch with the legendary Martin Atkins At the last moment we arranged to hire Cassie to be part of it as well as provide reliable transportation. 

Busy at work doing pre-production

The next morning remote interview w/ Martin Atkins at the Invisible records office in Bridgeport. He gave the three of us Pigface coffee mugs and ski caps.

Later that night back at Casa Diablo where Cassie was snowed in so I let her sleep in my need and I slept out on the living room floor which I would pay for over the next few days with major back pain. 

Dinner and Martini’s w/ Cassie and Mark at Tac Quick Sunday night

Martin and Mark tech talk

The MKULTRASOUND producers at work day 2

it’s been years, well over a decade since I had coffee at Martins Invisible Records office. 

Martini’s and cigars at Tac Quick Day 1

Cassie snowed in at Casa Diablo with Katrina and Anny

The first thing we did after Mark brought his luggage upstairs was go to eat at El Palmar or a Curse Mackey would say, “a rite of passage.”

Gay Target restroom on my way home from work the eve before Mark arrived 

Mark has these cable costume made for MKULTRASOUND

The Team!

Sunday after our meeting with Martin we all reconviened at Pleasant House Pub 2119 S Halsted St. Chicago, in the Bridgeport neighborhood for brunch. A rustic cafe with a blackboard menu of farm-to-table fare, baked goods, brunch & Sunday tea service. I had the Royal English Breakfast their signature fry-up—all homemade! Sunny-side-up egg, Royal Banger sausage, Royal banger sausage, Royal Rashers, black pudding, baked beans, grilled tomato, roasted mushrooms, and Pleasant House toast. We were joined by Martin’s assistant Molly. When Martin and Molly departed Cassie and I went to have a drink at the bar and discovered Martin had picked up the tab for all of us.

Thank you Mr. Atkins

On the way home the snow really started to come down and it was very cold. I wasn’t dressed for it and I’d also pay for the fact as well as sleeping on a hardwood floor later that night. I was dressed for a photos shoot but it was much too cold. We stopped into Chinatown on the way home and I went to an herb store to buy some supplements for what I had anticipated would be a very eXXXciting spring. We shall see! The fun begins 2 weeks earlier than I had planned as Nick has booked Electric Rev at the Looney Bin.

My mind is blank I take another drink. I’m not destroyed but I’m right on the brink. I sit and count them shot by shot. The little things that I never got

Since mid January we’ve been steadily hit with the harshest winter elements in Chicagoland in 3 years. Overnight we has an ice storm. I guess we were spoiled last year. I’m pretty much over it. So are my co workers.


Mojo Nixon (Blue Island) , Mortiis (Joliet), Angel (St. Charles), Ace Frehley (St. Charles) , Billy Idol (Naperville) , Cheap Trick (New Lenox), Joan Jett (New Lenox), Exxxotica (Rosemont) and Flashback Weekend (Rosemont)  all of these shows I’m attending so far in 2019 and not a damned one is in the actual city. Prong aren’t even being booked here on their current tour. The promoters in Chicago just won’t book hard rock bands anymore. 

Update: 2/13/2019

I got home and it just keeps getting worse. 

Same week as Mortiis in Joliet and the night before EXXXOTICA which is a terrible time to have that convention But I’ll be at all 3 even though no promoter in Chicago will book these bands meaning another trip out of town.

 A yacht and a Rolls and a private jet, A dirty blonde in a red Corvette
Wife and kids and a house and a pet, Those are the things that I can’t get

Happy V.D.

“But I’ll tell you, the only thing that keeps me going is this chick. I’ve got this incredible chick on the side you see, and she is so hot, I can hardly believe it. She’s got one of those heart-shaped asses. Have you ever had a chick with a heart-shaped ass?”

- from 9½ Weeks (1986) Mickey Rourke

The Dream Is Dead – Type O Negative

Champagne glass of blood and wine
On chocolate hearts alone I dine
Candles weeping waxing fears
Ten roses for one year- disappear

Arrows faster in my heart
Each memory another dart
Love and death both colored red
Showing my past, my dream is dead

Another lonely Valentine’s Day
I can’t believe that things turned
out this way
And though I hate to see you go
I know it must be so
Another lonely Valentine’s Day

Nobody will break your fall
All for non, yeah, none for all
Nothing’s so cruel as the truth
Join the Festival of Fools

Nobody will break your fall
All for non, yeah, none for all
Nothing’s so cruel as the truth
Join the Festival of Fools

Another lonely Valentine’s Day
I can’t believe that things turned
out this way
And though I hate to see you go
I know it must be so
Another lonely Valentine’s Day

The dream is dead.

Got what I got the hard way. And I make it better, each and every day. So honey, said don’t you fret. ‘Cause you ain’t seen nothing yet. Just grab the rope and I’ll pull you in. Give you hope and be your only boyfriend.

Lunar New Year notes coming tonight

It was cold again for the Lunar New Year Parade on Argyle and a much smaller version that I have seen in previous years. After staying in the night before and rising early to do laundry I made my way via the CTA Red Line to Little Vietnam or Little Saigon depending on your preference. I stopped into Qideas where I bought cactus a week before to pick up some soup bowls they ordered for me. I then went o Pho Loan where it was packed and ordered the same thing as the Saturday prior only added a Coffee Bubble Tea with tapioca which gave me a brain freeze. 

After teh parade I walked to Fat Cat Lounge for a cocktail before going home. It was too cold to do much of anything else. So I stayed in watched TV and thought I could call it another early night. 

Late Saturday when I  woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep I went over to Tac Quick where I met a new staff member Nok who’s name means Bird. I find it interesting that Thai women’s names have meanings like KK’s which is gift or present. I planned on going around teh corner to Wrigleyville North but after one of teh new girls sat with me at the bar I stayed till I was tired enough to walk across teh street home and fall into a deep sleep. There’s a lot to be said for interesting company.

In one more week I would be setting up Studio Diablo with Too Dark Mark Williams. 

Let go of your love. Ride his pulse and you forget. Slow down your time will come. If not tonight surely by the dawn. Take it like a man… The strange face of love.

“Your remedies beneath my hand
your fingers in my hair
the kisses on our lips began
that ended everywhere.

and now our sins are all confessed
our strategies forgiven
it’s written that the law must rest
before the law is written.

And Then The Night Commanded Me
To Enter In Her Side — 
And Be As Adam Was To Eve
Before The Great Divide.

her remedies beneath my hand
her fingers in my hair — 
and every mouth of hunger glad — 
and deeply unaware.

and here i cannot lift a hand
to trace the lines of beauty,
but lines are traced, and beauty’s glad
to come and go so freely.

and from the wall a grazing wind,
weightless and routine — 
it wounds us as i part your lips
it wounds us in between.

and every guiding light was gone
and every sweet direction — 
the book of love i read was wrong
it had a happy ending.

You are my tongue, you are my eye,
My coming and my going.
O G-d, you let your sailor die
So he could be the ocean.

And when I’m at my hungriest
She takes away my tongue
And holds me here where hungers rest
Before the world is born.

Escaping through a secret gate
I made it to the border
And call it luck — or call it fate — 
I left my house in order.

And now there is no point of view — 
And now there is no other — 
We spread and drown as lilies do — 
We spread and drown forever.

Disguised as one who lived in peace
I made it to the border
Though every atom of my heart
Was burning with desire.”


After a long work week of only Monday and Friday in the office and working from home in between due to the record setting polar vortex that crippled the city I came home Friday night after running some errands and was tempted to go out but stayed in instead and enjoyed a Ant-Man and The Wasp which was just about the most fun movie I’ve seen in 3 years. I had a full day planned Saturday with Christine so I decided to rest up and go do laundry early. I had breakfast at Jimmy Johns which is something I haven’t had to eat in well over a year. Maybe even closer to 18 months. I had an old fave the Veggie Club w/ sprouts and it did not disappoint. Christine was at the doctors and as she was finishing up there told me she got a call and needed to go into work and work on a cake that would be too difficult for others to work on so our plans were postponed. I took my laundry home and put it away and cleaned up before continuing with my original plan solo. I went to Argyle and had lunch/dinner at Pho Loan and it was absolutely wonderful. The tiny waitress who made me feel like a giant spoke perfect English and had no accent to my dismay. With my 4 spring rolls and small, yeah small, bowl of Pho it only came to $21 and some change. I told the waitress I’d see her in a week for the parade.

I then made my way down to Viet Hoa Plaza to pick up some noodles and produce and I was on the hunt for more red and black bowls for home. I wanted a larger version that what I have and the size I had one of is missing. So then I walked down to Qideas where I had spied a cactus I planned to repot along with 2 others. The Chinese girl who works there (also perfect English/no accent) told me that in Chinese folklore they refer to cactus as “Dragon Bones”. She also offered to order large bowls for me to pick up this coming weekend during the parade. She also promised a bigger than ever before fireworks display.

All around me everything was melting. The temperature had spiked up more the 50 degrees in just 48 hours. Rain was in the forecast. I went home finished my Pho as I thought about going to Tac Quick and then up to the newly reopened Carols Pub I opted again to stay in and I watched the movie Winters Bone, went to bed early and slept very well.

.Pho Loan my favorite seadfood pho in the area. Pho Do Bien (Fresh Rice Noodle Seafood Soup and Goi Cuon 4 Springrolls wrapped with rice noodle, rice, lettuce and shrimp.All of this was only $21 and some change..

My new cactus from Qideas or as the Chinese say “Dinosaur Bones”. I learned that today.

The Sunday Before

Sunday morning I didn’t even shower I just shaved, got dressed and made my way to the west side to buy a new computer. Easier said than done. After getting some top notch customer service to help choosing a computer that can handle the Rodecaster Pro Podcast tool I ended up dropping $300 more than I had planned but it’s all new, really good and I had the RAM upgraded and a virus program installed. They told me an hour but once I got the other part of the store was told at least 3. They had my old number from 2004 and I told them to update it so they could call me when it was done. Easy enough right? Well, nothing worth it ever is, at least in my world. I needed to kill some time and Mark who I had dialed up and he suggested to me to find a bar. Problem is none were close…..that came immediately to mind at the time. So I went shopping and walked to Target then back over to “Forever Yogurt” and had a bubble tea at a table that was made from a recycled bowling lane. Like it was some sort of premonition because when I walked out to my left I saw The Diversey River Bowl and went in and ordered a drink. A Long Island Iced Tea with no soda and a double shot of Jamo which was only $12.50. Unreal. Memories echoed in my mind as I recalled the last time I had ever been to DRB and it was with Jeff Windisch who passed away in August of 2016 on his birthday. He and I discussed the concept driving across rural areas of the US and taking pix for a coffee table book of Bowling Alley Chic. One I find the proper travelling companion I’ll get to work on it.

So it was now closing in on two and a half hours and I called Microcenter and was told the work had been done. FUCK! They didn’t update my phone #. I finished my drink and bid farewell to the easy on the eyes bartender and retrieved my new laptop and took the two buses home. The weather was changing and I showered up and made a big mistake by taking another Hydroxycut at 5PM. I think we all have a good idea what happened after that.

Your writer didn’t get to sleep till around 1AM and then it was back to the office and I, for one was happy to do so.

End of story!


She’s hot as a pepper but smooth as a Mexican brew. So head for the border and put in an order or two. The wings of the blackbird will spread like an eagle for you.

Chicago Will Be Colder Than Mount Everest, Antarctica, And Siberia On Wednesday

CHICAGO — Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel says the double-digit subzero temperatures forecast for the city are life threatening and “not to be taken lightly.”

Subzero temperatures will begin Tuesday but Wednesday is expected to be the worst. Wind chills in northern Illinois could fall to negative 55 degrees (negative 48 degrees Celsius). The high temperature forecast at O’Hare on Wednesday is negative 14 degrees (negative 25 degrees Celsius), which would break a record set on Jan. 18, 1994.


Some headlines:

Metra, Amtrak, CTA, Pace Updates Ahead of Dangerous Chicago-Area Cold

Transit authorities encouraged customers to only travel if necessary during dangerously cold conditions this week across the Chicago area. For those who must take Metra, Amtrak, the Chicago Transit Authority or Pace buses, leave extra time and dress appropriately. 

Evening rush to run without South Shore, Metra Electric trains; more than 1,800 flights canceled.

Deep freeze expected to ease, but school closures, flight and train service cancellations continue. 

Subzero in Chicago 1/31/2019

After we had 13 days of continuous snow the deep freeze the weather service had promised us had arrived. Since instructed on Monday morning everyone from the office has been working from home Tues. – Thurs not just due to the hazardous weather but the trains were all experiencing mechanical issues.

This morning I woke up to this post from Minna who saw a news story regarding our weather on Swedish TV.

I’m not a fan of working from home but am happy I can do so being that my phone has been blowing up with messages from the CTA regarding train delays and mechanical failures all week long, something I had personally experienced 2x the week prior. Standing out on the elevated platforms in the cold and wind is never a pleasant experience. 

Overnight the heat in my building has been raised to un-godlike proportions. I can actually wear short and no shoes or socks. The office and my apartment both have very dry heat and I’ve been suffering for weeks now waking up and blowing chunks of bloody membrane from my nose. I do I the same at work and on the train.  I wake up a lot since it’s so hard for me to breathe. The trade-off for this weather are the magnificent Chicago summers though. I can’t think of a better city that Chicago when the weather is favorable. At least on the north side. 

Mark left around 3AM on Tuesday back home to Iowa. His office instructed everyone to work from home as well. At least we had a very good time Sunday afternoon.

 Monday morning commute

Mark and his fiance Beth got a room downtown for the weekend and she arrived last Friday morning via AmTrak. They had a concert to see Saturday night and we had planned to meet up for breakfast on Sunday. I chose Garcia’s based on the fact that Beth really likes Mexican food. El Mariachi with their weekend endless mimosa brunch would have been too loud and crowded to enjoy. That morning I arrived about 30 minutes early and took a table, ate some chips and salsa and waited. They were running a little late so I ordered a margarita at 11 AM (which I will go on record and say they are the best in the city) and an appetizer of 10 Flautitas (Deep fried chicken tacos garnished with sour cream and guacamole) and only ate one when they arrived. 

They also ordered a margarita each and I another. My entree was a combo Chile Relleno and Enchiladas (1 chile relleno and 2 enchiladas) and proved to be the best Chile Relleno I’ve ever had. The margaritas Mark agrees was the best around and we finished our food and sat in the bar where a very cool bartender named Mariel poured us drinks, bought us shots and we split a pitcher before leaving around 3PM going around the corner and having a drink at Hansa Clipper. I hadn’t had a Sunday out like this like this in several years and the company and conversation  was wonderfully entertaining. I don’t know when I will ever again with teh podcast pending. At one point Mark mentioned that the pic of Echo she had sent me which I printed and put on the fridge was “disturbing”, a comment which later made its way onto social media. Beth got really buzzed and funny and I suspected she’d sleep on the train going home a few hours later. I took the train and a bus home and not before stopping into Tac Quick, which is right at the bus stop, to ask about the Saturday night thing again and have a couple of soda free Long Island Iced Teas. Ittachi seems to have hired a new crop of girls from Thailand. I will be checking out the scene there this weekend after Christine and I make and bottle hot sauce from scratch. I slept like a rock and Mark and I were both up and getting ready for work when we knew what would be ahead for the next few days. It was snowing very heavily out, 7 inches in just a few hours. It severely affected traffic and the train service as well. He was back at 1PM and planned to return to Iowa as I mentioned. My plan was to got to Walmart after work to pick up my Rx and some food and get home a little later. Instead I was stuck at a stand-still on the train for over 30 minutes but at least I was inside this time. I felt for my co workers who were behind me. At least I had my new Leonard Cohen book of poetry to read. 

The Flame is the final work from Leonard Cohen, the revered poet and musician whose fans span generations and whose work is celebrated throughout the world. Featuring poems, excerpts from his private notebooks, lyrics, and hand-drawn self-portraits, The Flame offers an unprecedentedly intimate look inside the life and mind of a singular artist.

A reckoning with a life lived deeply and passionately, with wit and panache, The Flame is a valedictory work.

“This volume contains my father’s final efforts as a poet,” writes Cohen’s son, Adam Cohen, in his foreword. “It was what he was staying alive to do, his sole breathing purpose at the end.”

Leonard Cohen died in late 2016. But “each page of paper that he blackened,” in the words of his son, “was lasting evidence of a burning soul.”

When I finally got to my stop having opted to go to Walmart the next day I walked into Walgreen’s to get some milk. The line to the front and to the pharmacy were long, and I was frustrated. The service at this location has gone downhill significantly over the last year. It’s painfully management has changed and there have been cutbacks in staff. As I was waiting i noticed a co worker and asked if she was lost. She had to transfer to a bus due to complications on the train and was inside to keep warm. I ended up giving up and returned the milk and came home. I just now went to get the milk 3 days later. Yes the line was too long yesterday as well. 

So I’ve been home-bound for 3 days and am almost stir crazy. I have lots of work but can’t wait to get back into the office tomorrow the first of a month that is certain  to be life changing. 

 Garcia’s 4760 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL

Tac Quick

The lovecats Anny and Katrina in the dining room where I’ve been working for 3 days laying along the big radiator for heat.

The McZander 1/3 lb seasoned beef patty, Cholula Green Pepper Sauce, slice of onion, romaine lettuce, roma tomatoes on an onion bun seared to very rare. 


I know the loneliness of not finding your soulmate. You come back with me and you’ll never be alone. It’s our destiny to be together. What if my soulmate comes along and I’m too blind to see it?

“And then the night commands me
to enter in Her side
and be as Adam is to Eve
before they need divide

So I can show Her what’s been kept
for Her and Her alone—
a secret place that Love had left
before the world was born

Her nipples underneath My hand
Her fingers in My hair—
a forest crying from the dead
and fragrance everywhere

And from the wall a grazing wind
weightless and serene
wounds Me as I part Her lips
and wounds Us in between

And fastened here, surrendered to
My Lover and My Lover,
We spread and drown as lilies do—
forever and forever”

Hard R: I bet your mama was a Cajun Queen, and all her boyfriends were sweet sixteen. I’m no school boy but I know what I like. You should have heard them just around midnight.

Welcome back reader. Your writer has been busting his proverbial balls at his day gig and couldn’t be a happier man even though it is exhausting. It’s currently my first priority as work always is. I am in a good place right now and though could be content with the status quo, that’s not AZ. Progress with the Podcast and the talented and gifted friends who have stepped up to make it even better have gone above and beyond all expectations. More on that later.

It takes a lot for me to go out on a school night. When it’s unavoidable I’ll put in notice to take the following day off. I didn’t miss any time after my birthday weekend which usually requires a Monday recovery day. On my return from Indpls on Xmas day, I went to work the following day. Things have changed drastically. I love my career and even now more than in the last 3 years really enjoy and admire the people who I work for. Then Nicole Bodie announced a weeknight show and there was no way I was missing it. It would also occur on the night that would prove to be the coldest night of the season thus far.

I first saw Miss Bodie back in November of 2014 when I was out on a date with Monique to support my then buds who collectively have a band named W.O.R.M. and as we made our way around the bar toward the stage she walked by me all tiny and tight dressed in her band wardrobe and I said out loud as Macaulay Culkin did when he met Uncle Buck for the first time in the move, “Who are you!”. I saw who I said in my mind was a star.

She got booted from the band for posting the meme below and was told her “dark” sense of humor could keep this band who only draw a crowd when they assume their moniker Nine Inch Nails tribute act, from getting signed. It was an excuse for them not being able to tolerate anyone with a sense of humor who didn’t 100% agree with their politics which is the way most of social media obsessed America chooses to go through life these days of being infected with toxic sensitivity. A talented black gal who is hysterically funny and likes guns…that’s the kinda sugar poppa likes. I began to follow her on FB after that encounter and found her absolutely fucking funny in an unapologetic and dark manner. Really Fucking Funny. Sexy too.

Less than a year before the band members backstabbed me and outright lied about me over an unfortunate incident after years of me supporting them both privately and professionally publically on social media I went to see Nicole and her boyfriend Damon Christopher perform their acoustic set at the Elbo room with a hit Vietnamese date who I was deeply and blindly in love with at the Elbo Room. Although I didn’t stay long because all I wanted to do was be alone with my date I was impressed with what I saw. I would go into this show knowing that since I had to work the next day that I would only be able to stay and hour. And I am sure happy that I did.

I invited my friend Mark who was in the neighborhood anyway to see the Iowa Hawkeyes basketball game to join me. It was miserably cold and windy out. I came home from work ate, changed clothes, watched Gotham which I was in awe over, threw on my newest cowboy hat and opted to take a cab rather than the train for one stop due to the conditions. I walked into The Sandlot for the first time and there was Mark working on a whiskey sour, his signature cocktail. I had eaten some spicy pastor and cheese tacos earlier and had no intent of drinking anything stronger than Tecate’ so I had not taken Prilosec which I would pay for dearly later. A super cheerful and attractive bartender who I later learned name is Katie served me and as I turned around in walked Miss Bodie. We hugged and exchanged pleasantries she went back out and helped Damon carry in gear and set up. We had an hour or so to catch up before she’d go on at 930 which meant Mark and I would stay till 1030 as opposed to the planned on 10PM. We both have demanding jobs and need sleep. I ordered a Tulamore Dew on the rocks and another and Nicole’s friend bought me a third after meeting her. In over 2 and a half years I’ve hardly mentioned or alluded to Julie. Miss Bodie was well aware of my feelings the night we went to see her perform in July of 2016 so I spent maybe 3-5 minutes trying to sum up that we didn’t last long after that night but it was good at least on my end while it lasted. I blew off VIP for Rammstein and Ministry to be alone with that woman and though regretted it a bit after, don’t at all. I wouldn’t change a thing.


So there we were two spirited rock n rollers trading tales of how rough the previous year 2018 had been on us in our non-rock n roll professional lives. We had both lost our jobs and were mostly unemployed but neither of us went and shared that grief as most people do on social media. Why would we. She also shared with me why she got kicked out the aforementioned tribute band.


She excused herself to smoke and upon her return I asked mark if he would please take our picture. She then in her own off color manner said to me with a HARD “R”, “Sorry I smell like cigarettes and nigger breath” and we posed for a couple of shots. Later as she was onstage and played harp during one song I asked Mark, “Have you ever seen a hot black girl play harmonica?” to which he replied, “I’ve never heard a hot black girl say nigger breath.” It was a moment that shall live forever at least in two minds in this day and age of every little thing being offensive. And let me just say, Baby it was cold outside.

Here I am in the middle of the biggest Diary of a Damned Man update in months and am struck with a craving for ice cream so I must go out in the 8 degree cold to fetch some and may as well grab some vodka and Gatorade for later after the guy comes to repair my computers.

Nicole asked Katie the bartender to watch for her cue so she could give her voice a rest 30 min or so into the set. The signal would be her grabber her breasts. Again a testament to her sense of humor. Shortly after some more small talk w/ her and her friends the duo took stage they got right into a set of classic rock covers dashed with a few really good originals. The set spanned decades and I was taken back with their performance of my favorite Beatles song “Oh Darlin’”. At around 10PM she grabbed her boobies and stepped outside for a break.

One of their friends who was at the aforementioned show in 2016 was also a very funny fucker. He sat with his shoes off and feet up on the barstool and I shouted put your shoes on you fucking hippie. It was all taken in jest as was intended, No politically correct fucking pussies at this show.

During that break I told Katie how much I liked the place and that I’d be back for sure and would like to send some bands and she informed me how to go about it. Such a super friendly, funny and attractive alternative to some of the other girls pouring drinks on the N Clark Street strip.

Mark and I had another 30 minutes and enjoyed the set we got to see as we put our coats on. Nicole came off the stage and gave me a hug and told us goodbye and thanks for coming from the stage. I hailed a taxi out in the cold wind and snow and was home in minutes. Before going to bed I took my sleeping med but no Prilosec and ate two more tacos before falling asleep. In the middle hours of the morning I had really bad acid reflux and threw up a little in my own mouth. It’s the worst. I went to the bathroom cabinet and popped some heartburn medicine and was back to sleep before getting up for my wintery commute in the – 8 degrees and -22 with the wind chill. I caught the first train with no problem but my transfer would take over 30 minutes as I waited on a cold and bitterly cold platform with over a hundred others as train after train would drop them off but no train would come to take us further north for over a half an hour. One student who stood by me had her eyelashes frozen stiff. Reality set in and I was 5 minutes or so late to the office and was immediately assigned a new project. But all in all the night before was one of the best of what looks to be a really great 2019.

“So I can love your beauty now, Though seeming from afar, Until my neutral world allow, How intimate you are. Sometimes it gets so lonely, I don’t know what to do, I’d trade my stash of boredom, For a little hit of you. I didn’t know, I didn’t know, I didn’t know, How much you needed me”

Oh Asian eyes, I really love you so.

Pretty Asian eyes, I’ll never let you go

Because I love you, my darlin’ Asian eyes


Oh Asian eyes, you are so good to me

And when I’m in your arms you are so heavenly

You know I love you, my angel Asian eyes


Little Asian eyes, I know you were sent from above

You rule my heart with your tender touch

I know we’ll be happy for eternity

‘Cause I know you’ve come just for me.


My pretty little Asian eyes