You’re harder than nails and baby I know what’s on your mind. That little girl smile has turned me around (saved your skin), not this time

My brothers always said that I was Rex Racer aka Racer X from Speed Racer when we were kids. That was a prophecy that eventually sorta’ came true and my brother Blue created the image above. I think I’ll be him for Halloween this year. 

Great new shot of Tracii

New shot (have I posted this one already?) of Tommy who I’ll see in a couple of weeks. 

My brother found this pic from Senior Prom 1983 at our Grandparents house. How the hell does he keep finding these token of my youth?

Danny Lee Hill working on a song with me.

Today marks 39 years since my very first rock concert experience. April 24, 1979 Cheap Trick at the Capitol Music Hall in Wheeling WV. It changed everything. 

Reopening on Tuesday May 1 THE DOCK AT MONTROSE

Tuesday The Dock at Montrose opens for the 2018 season. My plan is to swing by there Sunday on my way back from a ride down to the office so I can plan for any detours, construction or other obstacles that I would not otherwise expect. It’s gonna feeel good. My new commute via bike is only 15 miles round trip as opposed to the 20 miles round trip it wa for the past 6 seasons. The long cold winter has made an even more difficult winter for me even more of a pain in my arse.

In May I’ll be seeing Prong again with Ashley and I’ve invited Too Dark Mark up from the south to join me for a Cajun infused BBQ for Memorial Day Weekend. Then to close out May is Maifest and then I have just enough time to ready myself for EXXXOTICA. I need summer in a bad way especially since last summer I had that dark cloud of uncertainty hovering over my head. It finally lifted in early November as did my 6 plus year tenure at QLK.

I’m in dire need of Elotes and Mexican Spicy Fruit, toes in my sand and a drink in my hand. Summer 2018 I welcome you with everything.



It’s so easy to blow up your problems. It’s so easy to play up your breakdown. It’s so easy to fly through the window. It’s so easy to fool with the sound.

A nacho cheese burger on bagel slices for breakfast. Why not?

Finally got my own copy of the Made in Milan DVD

Better late than never. Not only was the 3rd installment of the Thor series visually stimulating, it was hilarious to boot. The film blazes gloriously through as it paints a fun colorful adventure for our epic God of Thunder. (Lord of Thunder). I think Taika Waititi brings a lot of his experience as a comedian to dress it up in a way that takes the humor of the Marvel formula to a different level. Excellent supporting cast with Cate Blanchett as Hela, Benedict Cumberbatch as Dr. Stephen Strange, Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/Hulk, the deadpan stylings of Jeff Goldblum as Grandmaster and the best performance ever of Tom Hiddleston very likable as Loki.

After work Friday I met up with Greg Duncan where he works at VelocityEHS in the Merchandise Mart.  Our plan was to play some pinball and then rent “Thor: Ragnarok” There in the food court I spied a Luke’s Lobster and almost began to salivate. I’ve since decided that I’m going to eat there next weekend. My memory drited back a few years to when Cari from Milwaukee and I went to the Lasalle Street location to eat prior to a booze infused weekend. As we started on our seafood I mentioned how good the sodas might be with vodka and she then produced a bottle that had vodka in it and spiked our drinks. That was a fun visit down memory lane. 

The weather is hellish but it made for a good night of sleep. I dreamt all night about an old flame and that I moved in with her far from Chicago. Even when I woke up around 3A I went back to sleep and the dreamed picked right back up. I haven’t thought much about her for a while and wonder why now she’s visiting my dreams. Of course as in real life it wasn’t short on drama during that cinematic voyage of fact based fiction in my minds eye. That I do not miss. 

Adam Becvare and I drove to Portage IN for wings at Quaker Steak & Lube Sunday the 15th. It was a terrible weather day again. On my way to his place the Red Line stopped underground and we were stuck there for about 20 minutes, Second fire on the tracks that morning on the southside and earlier that morning there was an unauthorized person on the tracks. I had to urinate so bad when they finally let us out that I went up to target and used the Mens room. I walked down to the Jackson Red Line to Blue Line and took the train to Adam’s where I found him waiting in his SUV for me along the street. Jason Harmon who was in teh region met us for wings. They tasted really really good and the place was really really dead. 

Dusted Ghost Pepper (11,700 SHU). Blend of spices & India’s Ghost Chili Pepper

Third Monday of April in a row and I wake up to this. I am officially snowblind. 

Just like the old soft shoe or the old song and dance. The only check that’s in the mail is probably already cashed. Are you a victim of chance? is this the way to succeed? Or just a crack in the wall of what the people believe?

April 4, 2018 655AM (officially sick of it)

April 4, 2015 breakfast w/ Greg Duncan at El Palmar. How things have changed in 3 yrs.


El Palmar after midnight dinner. The latest I’ve been up all year. 

Breakfast at Pancake House aka Patsy’s Pies. (Shameless)

Classic Dale

AZ in dire need of a tan

Well, it’s been a cold hard ride into the new year but here I am, again. I’m too old for this shit but hey, I’m gonna take life by its bullhorns again and get back on top of things.

I’ve been so down and out and living a struggle or as my brother would say, “a state of transition”. No matter what since my last visit to the Looney Bin in mid-December and a night with the Wattles at Christmas, I’ve been unable to have fun, feel good or get ahead of things. I’ve tried and for fucks sake I know my friends have. My buds Dave and Steve, Bob, and even my darling Ashley have been able to break me out of my funk. Cathy, Valerie, Greg, and Dale have come to my aide. My mishap, accepting a friend’s plea for help only put me further in the black. That was a month ago.

Since then I found a gig I really seem to enjoy where I am appreciated and then MINISTRY was coming and so was Dale. I needed a good hard shot of unfiltered rock n roll testosterone. Just what the doctor ordered. And boy oh boy did the devil deliver.

It’s been since it was last warm that I’ve been to the Hansa Clipper in Lincoln Square. Little did I know just how much I needed this. I leave Dale at Laurie’s Planet of Sound, walk up the block to find Greg outside of Hansa finishing a smoke. I walk into the crowded and loud German pub and the most beautiful bartender in Chicago sees me and loudly exclaims, “OH NO!” The patrons all turn around and yell , “BUY THAT MAN A SHOT!” I ask if there’s room at the bar, people make room and Christina lays over top of the bar and gives me a hug. We had an hour to kill.

In a few hours my ol comrades MINISTRY would take the take infusing me with a much needed injection of a whole lot of everything my soul has been in dire need of.

Hansa Clipper w/ Greg Drunken

Dietrich Thrall flew into town, came over to hang before the show and we met up with Sin Quirnin of Ministry 

Mister rock n roll all night is Mister worn and out post Ministry eats at El Palmar. For a decade or so I used to put together after show parties for the band. Now I barely drink at the show, go right home and into bed. The tacos did the trick. I was right in bed after peeling off my rock n roll wears. 

I’m using my laptop to work my MINISTRY experience and came across this pic meeting up w/ ol mk ultra mainstays GARBAGE. As it is w/ MINISTRY I’ve lost track of how many hours I’d spent with them. I miss it They were good and fun people but above all an incredible collection  of talent. I don’t think in my career I’ve ever put in as many hours with a band as I have w/ MINISTRY over the past 25 years of life. 

605 PM Dale is home, sent me this picture to wet my appetite for my July trip.

Friday I booked my Megabus trip to Iowa City (Coralville), IA to see Cheap Trick with Dale and hit up that Drive In the following night. My round trip (5 hours each way) was only $13.49. I could have got it for a grand total of $4.50 but didn’t want to leave Iowa at 9AM and miss Lauren Moss on the morning news. I think there’s a Chicago Cubs/Cheap Trick shirt in her future. Dale said he and Dr. Gard may be back here in a couple of weeks. I’d really like that. Summer is getting booked up finally. 

Next weekend I’m off to Portage IN with Adam Becvare to get wings at Quaker Steak & Lube. It’ll be good to see him again and is alway nice to spend quality time with like-minded people involved in the music industry. I wonder if they’ll remember me by now.

Monday June 9, 2018 looks like it did a week before at the same time in the morning. 

Yesterday, is far away, so take me out to sea. Far away, I’ve been what never will be. Check me in, to lose or win, I’m livin’ memories. The drift begins, the dream of it sets me free.

What’s in a name? 

It was 1993 and I had just turned 28. I had done the unthinkable and got my first tattoo, the Sisters of Mercy symbol, had pierced my other ear and that spring would get a vasectomy. I was also burned out on Columbus Ohio and done all I could do there. My friends and I took a long spur of the moment drive across 3 states (does WV really matter?) to my former home of Pittsburgh just for the hell of it. My club/rave DJ career was at a regional legend status and my journalism career was fading being that the press I had written for in Columbus had dried up. It was time for a change and one of the things I had been tossing around in my skull was a new pen name. Nothing rolled off the tongue until that trip to Pittsburgh as we were leaving the 17,000 square ft. 4-story store Eide’s entertainment, the mecca for comics and music fanatics. It was at the cash register and sitting there before my eyes as I paid for whatever I bought spied the selection of the week, Robin Zander of Cheap Trick’s self-titled solo album. I looked at my 3 travelling companions and proclaimed, “That’s it. Al X. Zander.”

Two months later I moved back to my old Pittsburgh neighborhood of Bloomfield with a new identity and new beginning on life. For about a year I was known as DJ Al-X and in print as Al X. Zander as I wrote for two rags run by Aaron P. Arthurs who I had met at Lollapalooza the summer before and was a huge MINISTRY fan and another read by Dennard Summers. Both gents that less than 2 years later would contribute to what would become MK ULTRA. It wouldn’t be long before I morphed into the caricature of Alex Zander the man.

I’ve told the story over the years and always looked at it as a symbolic suicide. I was certainly no longer the person I was born fighting to be my own person, yet attempting to live life to my father’s “double” standards. In fact it was during this transition I felt the need, if not for anything else my mental health, to divorce myself from my family. It wouldn’t be till late 1995 that I got back into touch with my youngest brother. For reasons that shall remain undisclosed I still remain detached from my father.

So I would be Alex Zander and inside of me was burning an concept for my own publication. But what to call it? What would “roll off the tongue”?


“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”

— Charles Bukowski (Factotum)



It was the summer of 2000 that I realized this thing was getting too big. MK ULTRA, Alex Zander and my life as I knew it was once and for all over. In 1994 I set out to kill the person that I was born, and after 30 years of broken dreams, gallant attempts and being stifled by a socially retarded society in the region where I was raised and those experiences now long behind me, I had willingly succeeded in committing symbolic suicide.

August 31, 2000 started out just like any other day. I drove my laundry over to a laundromat around 9 AM, and more than likely due to anticipation of my good friend and fellow road warrior Mike Blackley driving up to Chicago from Indianapolis for a concert later that evening, I locked my keys inside the car. So as my clothes were being washed I naturally panicked, “how the hell am I going to get into my car?” Mike was set to arrive around 1 PM and Slash’s van (I was working the Chicago Street team for Slash’s Snakepit release and tour) was going to pick us up around 3 PM. And around 3 PM in the afternoon is NOT a good idea when driving from the inner city out to Tinley Park where the venue was, which I had attempted to explain that in advance Eddie who was the mastermind of the Slash Tour at the time. So, in my panic and desperation I decided to go in through the sunroof of my car.

A few hours later we’re in this van that has Slash’s face displayed over the thing, one of those types of vans where the image can cover the back and side windows with the passengers being able to still see outside, much like many city busses. Inside were the crew, a bottle of Jack Daniels and Mike and I had a cooler full of Coors Light. We were stuck in traffic for hours, and forced to urinate outside at the side of the road in broad daylight, when we needed to. By the time we had arrived at the Tweeter Center where Slash was opening for AC/DC on the Stiff Upper Lip Tour everyone was well on their way to being a tad bit intoxicated.

After Slash’s set ended we were all hanging in the backstage dressing room with the band and crew. One needs to keep in mind that a backstage at these large outdoor amphitheaters is not what they are, at your typical concert hall, auditorium, theatre or arena. There are masses of tractor trailers and tour busses which are not in sight of the audience and the backstage is actually underneath the stage, the rooms there are quite luxurious. No graffiti or semen stained sofas and there isn’t trash on the floor or within its halls; they are very clean, tidy and nicely catered. Of course there is always lots of booze and groupies about.

It was getting close to time for AC/DC to perform so we wanted to take our places in the pavilion, but there was one dilemma, we were lost in the cavern of tunnels and stairs underneath the stage. As cliché as this is going to seem, it was not unlike that scene in Spinal Tap where the band cannot find their way onstage. As a matter of fact, it was exactly like that, only here we were, a couple of boozy media fellas, wandering around and following the sound of organ music and screams of the audience.

Somehow we found our way to a stairwell and followed it up and found ourselves on AC/DC’s stage below a huge statue of Angus Young which had smoke coming out of its nostrils and a big cannon right out by the drum riser. The stage was covered in fog and all I could think was, “oh shit, we’re going to get arrested.” As I began to make a beeline for the front of the stage Mike says to me, “I’m going to go and touch the cannon.” What can I say, that’s Mike, and he did just that. I waited for a few seconds for him to get back over to me and we ran out and jumped off the front of the stage into the photo pit, just as huge explosions went off onstage behind us and the sound of deafening guitars practically blew us onto the ground.

Thus had landed exactly where we stayed for the remainder of the show.

It was that hot August night when it came to me, this thing I had conceived, not 6 years earlier was getting too big for me. Too big for the people in my life, as well as my soon to be ex girlfriend Heather especially, and this thing was very much getting out of control. In retrospect that is exactly what I had dreamed would happen, but at the time I kicked it into gear, it was a dream that had seemed out of reach. Out of control was part of the job description was in not? Wine, Women and Song.

That far away teenage dream had become my day to day life.

My name is Alex Zander, I am the Concierge to the International Sin Set.

Where Were You When the Fun Died?

Exactly how I’ve been feeling lately

A Friday night treat that I was too tired to drink. It tasted damn good though

Packing for an overnight out in the Burbs at Tubby’s Drive In

Have ASSFLASK will travel

My first burger of 2018 just before I left the city to visit Bob and watch the new


LA GUNS w/ Johnny Monaco last summer on the bus outside of the

Arcada in St Charles. 

Thanks Newbomb!

This is where I’ve been spending my weekdays



You’ve given me an option, you say I must choose, ‘tween you and the liqour, then I’ll take the booze! Jumpin’ on Western down to the south side, Where I’ll sit down and exercise my Irish pride.

St Patrick’s Day Police Dispatch Downtown and Northside

9:55 AM — Dispatcher: “[Sigh] Oh, they’re dropping already. Can you head over to 500 West Madison for the female passed out in the food court?”

10:12 AM — Dearborn and Randolph. People are climbing on the CTA bus.

10:14 AM — Marine Unit: “Send me more cars. We need to clear out City Winery” on the Riverwalk.

10:40 AM — “Complainant says a male white in an orange hat and green jacket just punched him, took his hat off, and threw it.” Illinois and Columbus.

10:42 AM — Wrigleyville police commander: “Did I ever tell you how much I hate the color green?”

10:52 AM — Male white, green sweatshirt, green pants, walking on the handrails of the State Street bridge.

10:54 AM — Man stabbed in robbery attempt aboard inbound Metra train. Primary suspect: Male, black, 18, 6’4” tall, green sweatshirt and a vest.

11:32 AM — CTA says people are throwing beads at passing trains. 900 block of Wellington.

11:16 AM — Second person found with a minor stab wound on that Metra train.

11:42 AM — “They’re throwing bottles by the Channel 7 van.”

12:22 PM — Prisoner transport van: “We got a very intoxicated female behind us” Congress and Columbus. EMS going

12:29 PM — Request for crime scene tape to keep people away from City Winery.

12:35 PM — “They’re throwing beer bottles at the parade by the Lincoln statue. Get me a mounted unit.”

12:36 PM — Prisoner transport van: “Now we got an intoxicated male in front of us.” EMS going.

12:44 PM — EMS rolling for a 15-year-old male who’s passed out drunk. Jackson/Wabash.

12:48 PM — EMS rolling for a 17-year-old who’s passed out drunk by the skating rink.

Quick time out to vomit over the rails of the Armitage L station and she’ll be back in the game | Craig Vodnik

12:54 PM — Female passed out between the porta-potties. Jackson and Congress.

1:11 PM — “We gotta get these people outta the trees!” near the Lincoln Statue.

1:12 PM — Lincoln Statue: Female down. “Struck by a Tito’s bottle.”

1:18 PM — “Do we have the Lincoln Memorial under control yet?” Answer: Absolutely not.

1:18 PM — It’s too close to call officially, but it appears that Wrigleyville had its first arrest of the day before downtown did. The honoree is hauled away from Deuces and The Diamond Club, 3505 North Clark.

1:23 PM — Back downtown, the first float has crossed the finish line.

1:24 PM — “Intoxicated male down” at the water tower pumping station.

1:28 PM — First known arrest downtown. Michigan and Wacker.

1:29 PM — “Is your person down the one between the porta-potties or the one lying in the field?”

1:36 PM — Male hit with a bottle by the Lincoln Statue. Dispatcher: “This is a male, right? Cuz we had a female before. I wanna make sure it’s not a dupe” It’s not a dupe. “He’s right across from the Channel 7 News van, bleeding from the head.”

1:36 PM — Back in Lakeview: “Oakdale and Sheffield. The residents are complaining because there’s tons of intoxicated people vomiting on their lawn.”

1:50 PM — Another arrest downtown. The man was operating a drone “behind the Channel 7 news van.”

1:55 PM — A man has passed out drunk on a float. ““Is he staying on the float?” “NO. He fell off. He in the middle of the ground.” “Got it. Male drunk off da float!”

2:27 PM — Lakeview. 2900 block of North Sheffield. “The condo president is receiving calls from tenants about a disruptive party. There’s underage drinking, public urination, marijuana smoking, destruction of property and much more.”

2:40 PM — The last float has crossed the finish line downtown. “Woo-hoo!” “Command post did you copy?” “We copy THANK YOU!!!”

2:46 PM — A total of four arrests at this point downtown.

2:49 PM — Spoke too soon. The fifth person is arrested downtown for trying to jump off a bridge. “He’s in custody at City Winery.”

3:24 PM — “Getting a call of a disturbance at Sheffield and Wolfram. Anonymous caller says two females are trying to make out in front of him. Caller says he’ll be out front waiting for the police.”

3:29 PM — Person with a gun. Male white, green jacket pulled a gun from his backpack near Michigan and Monroe. Suspect is immediately taken into custody in front of the Chicago Athletic Association Hotel. Firearm recovered. Arrest #6 for downtown.

3:35 PM — That Lakeview condo board president is calling again. The partiers are “having sex in the courtyard and they want the police to respond again.”

4:42 PM — State and Illinois. “We got a female white who fell and hit her face on a pole.” Dispatcher: “Oh, my! Is she intoxicated?

5:35 PM — Report: “There’s a leaky bag at Trump Tower. No lights, wires, or markings.”

5:35 PM — There are currently two battery reports being taken at the Wrigleyville Taco Bell. Separate incidents.

5:38 PM — Now we have three battery victims behind Barleycorn in Wrigleyville.

5:45 PM — At 1160 South Michigan, there’s a male white, green jacket, green jeans and green smudges on his face trying to break into a condo.

5:46 PM — Clark and Belmont: “Caller says a man with pigeons on his jacket is trying to take advantage of a woman in a cheetah-print outfit at Target.” She’s very intoxicated.

6:08 PM — Caller wants to see the police at 324 West Chicago. She says “they physically threw her out of the bar.” She’ll be wearing green leggings, a green skirt, and a green shirt.

6:21 PM — Dispatcher: “Cierra again?!? I swear to god, this woman is going bar-to-bar-causing trouble.”

6:22 PM — Woman says a male Hispanic just sold her sister crack cocaine at the adult bookstore, 53 West Hubbard. The caller will be inside the bookstore.

6:24 PM — 900 block of Fletcher: Male in a jacket and jeans. “He’s drinking, smoking, and taking pleasures with himself.”

6:27 PM — Random transmission: “You can’t make this stuff up.”

6:29 PM — Arrest #3 for Wrigleyville. A woman in custody for battering a man in the 3500 block of North Wilton.

6:32 PM — “A male drunk with a gash on his head walked into their apartment, went into the roommate’s bedroom and fell asleep. They don’t know the guy.” State and 8th.

6:44 PM — “Caller says the male is dancing on a table at Roy’s, urinating on the side of the restaurant.” #Hawaiirish

7:03 PM — Wrigleyville arrest #4. Man battered security at Taco Bell.

8:08PM — Boystown records its first arrest of the evening. Congratulations, Roscoe’s! Keeping with our scorekeeping rules, the arrest will count toward Wrigleyville’s total.

8:28PM — Footchase! One in custody behind HVAC in Wrigleyville! That’s #6 for the North Siders.

Windows started tremblin’, with a sonic boom, boom. A cold girl’ll kill you In a darkened room

This is the 2 bedroom bungalow in Gulfport Mississippi where my good friend Mark is staying temporarily. 3 acres of land and according to him half of size of where I’m living now. If I ever meet the “one” before too long this would be a dream home to me. I could grow old here with the right woman. I’d have to build a little shack out back to use as a music room/study. I could work from home remotely, in swim trunks, and be happy

Cufflinks I wore to office of a new client today

which shall tomorrow bring? 

Greg Drunkan came by after work on Thursday. I was able to watch GOTHAM while he went for a haircut. I was in bed by 10 but dammit, that kid is clumsy. My living room was a bit of a mess but as always I welcome and enjoy his company, chit chat and sharing Irish Whisky.

We talked about visiting some of his family in Montana and I broke out one of my favorite books Undaunted Courage by the late Stephen Ambrose the foremost historian on the “Corps of Discovery”.

Thank Roy it’s Friday Atheist cufflinks

Come on summer! I cannot wait to stock back up on these goodies and the new flavor. 


St Paddy Days Reflection


Thursday was 2 yrs since my hip replacement surgery and though 2016 was a nice year overall it was also one of great personal loss, romantically and a couple of my closest friends left this life much too soon. It was a year that ended in depression but not nearly the bout I’d deal with in the most turbulent year of my life that would follow. 2017 was a year that I deeply considered it was time to “shuffle off this mortal coil”.


It’s been a twisted month that’s for sure. Two weeks ago I answered a distress call of sorts. My friend and former coworker Jessica had another out w/ her folks at their home in St. Charles and she needed a place to stay for a while and offered me some $$ for the trouble. Part of the trouble on my end is that I got rid of the bed is the guest room and turned it into a music room for instruments. I wasn’t going to say no to the money at this particular time and thought maybe her crazed company might be a nice relief from the solitude I’ve found myself in this winter I offered the living room and by the time the spring premier of GOTHAM had ended she was at the back door w/ baggage (a nice word for it) and a bottle of vodka stowed inside. She settled in and we shared drinks and small talk. She was bouncing off the walls per Adderall and I didn’t have to work the next day but she did. We must have been up till midnight. I woke up and made her breakfast as sent her off to her most recent gig on LaSalle in the heart of the loop. I hadn’t been drinking much and felt it hard the next morning not to mention is that I do my best to make it a habit not to drink on weekdays (school nights).


That night she returned later and we watched Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD and she asked about making drinks and I suggested we wait till Saturday and do Bloody Marys which we did. I made them from scratch with the exception of the killer Bloody Mary mix Dale gave me over the holidays. She voluntarily told me something about not being able to get her pay till Monday and the reasons would be many over the next few days as I realized I wasn’t going to see any. Saturday night she had a date with a guy she met at her office and got in really late and then Sunday when she woke she bought a handle of vodka (1.75 liters) when the stores released it for Sunday sales. That afternoon she went back to the guy’s house and returned early the next morning with time to get ready for work. I went back to bed and got up around 9A to see she was still here and reminded her she had to be at work. It was then that she announced she had drunk the half of the vodka that was left. I hadn’t seen anything of the like since Holly years ago. But where Holly is Amazonian in stature, Jessica is about 5 ft and around 100 lbs. She went to work. Around noon I got a call. She passed out at her desk and was taken to the ER by Ambulance. When she got back to Casa Diablo around 5 that afternoon the first thing she wanted was a drink. Thanks to her there was none and she went back out to buy more and her card was declined. After 3 more days of lounging around, she had left before GOTHAM came on TV the following Thursday. I tried to be a friend and once again it backfired. I’m not sure when I’ll see her again. Like Holly, she shows up when she shows up. Holly is getting married soon so I suppose next I see her is likely at a street fest vending just as I had met her 10 yrs ago.


I worked at an office in the east loop this past week and enjoyed it. The pay is far from what I’m accustomed to but it’ll do for now as I wait for pending contracts to come through. As far as St Paddy’s Day festivities I don’t go for that idiot fest like they do here in Chicago. Tomorrow there will be a long list of police activity and arrests to amuse myself with. The last time I attempted to go down to it was in 2007 with Shelly and we made it as far as Ranalli’s. Austin from Cedar Rapids is due to be in town today and I hope to see him for a bit. Next week I’m out at the Speed Shop/Drive In for the LA GUNS Live in Milan screening and then Dale comes to town for MINISTRY.  April is poised to be exciting and my social media and this lame as of late section of MK ULTRA will reflect.

Speak of the devil. Mark is going to finish updating the site again soon. He’s doing it pro bono so I can’t complain. As long as its ready pre EXXXOCITA  we’ll be in good shape.

I should be out of FACEBOOK jail now and I’m going to go and unleash my wrath now  after I pour another cup of java.  Stay tuned.

To be the best FRIDAY THE 13TH EVER: Thanks Dale!

 I have a lot to thank Dale for but at this articular time I should also point out Greg Duncan and Cathy Wrona who have really stepped up and helped me out in the past week. The best is yet to come as I really know how to return favors. Between Dale, Greg and Cathy I’ve managed to make it through a rough spell. I thank you with all that is in me. I guess in a way I’m finally seeing some reward in all  of my years of being overly generous to so many people who have offered absolutely nothing in return. Dale has always had a loyal and generous nature. 

That’s not to say that I hadn’t received much needed charity in the past. Greg Miner put up a substantial donation toward the premium of my hip replacement surgery 2 years ago and both Dave Ganz and Steve Pens were there for me shortly after Carlyle Group defaulted on a loan and none of us got paid thus leaving the 26 year old company in bankruptcy. It just seems mostly all of teh people who have benefited from my generosity have done nothing to help me when I’m in need. Some have done even worse which echos back to 2017. 

I am extremely grateful to those who have offered a helping hand. Yes, these people I refer to offer. 

Thinking about this pending trip. I have the annual Memorial Day 4 – day camping trip, followed by 3-day EXXXOTICA excursion and a month break till my return to Iowa which between the all you can eat fair food and the drive in will have zero nutritional value and I’m skipping the Dippin Dots this time. 


I waited 4 years to see this movie. Did I missed something? I know what Rob was trying to do. This movie had all of the elements to be a nice lil creep fest. The scenery, the imagery, the flashbacks and even a weak storyline couldn’t save a movie that didn’t work. Maybe if it was shot in a different order. It didn’t do anything for me except show how much he loves showing his wifes ass. Best part of the movie was her apartment. Ken Foree as a radio DJ was the best casting.

My good friend in Hollywood responded to my Facebook post:

Paul J Baio There’s thirty minutes of it that ended up on the cutting room floor. The biggest problem was that he wanted to make a movie with full creative freedom, so Jason Blum gave him 1.5 million dollars, and told him to to make whatever he wanted. The lesson here is that Rob Zombie shouldn’t be given full creative freedom.

I decided after my Sunday afternoon walk to watch ‘Freak Show’ instead and then ‘The Devils Rejects’ to satisfy my current insatiable appetite for creepiness. 

My mind is blank I take another drink, I’m not destroyed but I’m right on the brink, I sit and count them shot by shot, The little things that I never got. But I get mad, baby real upset, ’cause what I want I can never get

3/13/2018 four days left of my 30-day ban

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Watercat-Anny is now almost as big as Katrina so I no longer have to worry about her getting flushed down into the toilet but still can’t keep her out of toilet water or any other water.

Katrina used to look so small till I got Water Cat Anny. Now Anny’s getting bigger by the week. 

Halloween Weekend, 174 miles to  Creve Coeur, IL 

Could I be in for my first road trip with Bob “Newbomb Turk” Hoeksema in 2018? Our 2 decade friendship has made it over much bigger hurdles than this. 

Fun time today on my Volume show doing my Kiss Top 20. If you missed it it’s now On Demand on the SiriusXM app. Tomorrow we will discuss and debate it with you and also have Kiss Top 20 lists from Tom Morello, Corey Taylor, Chris Jericho, Sebastian Bach and more! Listen live 2-4P ET on SiriusXM 106. If you missed my Top 20 here it is. And it was TOUGH to limit to 20! Feel free to post your lists here as well:

So here is mine:

This box with a new salt & pepper shaker arrived today. It was sent to me by Beth in Jacksonville NC

The Drive-In Was The Place to Be: This 1950s photo from South Bend, Indiana
shows how popular they were!

As a youth I spent many summer nights at the Leatherwood Drive in located in Barnesville Ohio. We got in free because my father being a police officer was compensated for walking car to car and reading the plate number of each vehicle into a tape recorder in case of vandalism or theft. It turned out great for my brothers and I. As I grew older I’d go to the Drive In’s in West Vagina. One right off of route 2 would show X rated adult features and you could even see them from the highway. My friends and I would go w/ dates but would be too busy making out or the other to pay attention to the movie. I saw a lot of great films on the screens back then including, yup you guessed it.

ahh Summer Nights!

I saw Suicide Squad, two summers ago in south central Illinois and last summer went with Dale to one way out in the middle of nowhere Iowa. I think I romanticise the Drive In now more than ever as as adult. Actually I know for sure I do. I look forward to going in Iowa again in July the night after we see Cheap Trick at the Delaware Co. Fair. I also love Iowa as a matter of fact. Going with Dale didn’t offer any fun photo ops the way my trip the summer before had. I wonder if that woman knows how much going there meant to me. Damn cell phone texting! drive Ins are a time as all movie theaters are, a time and place to turn off the fucking phone. Buzz kill. 

When I saw the original Tim Burton Batman back in 1989 at Kingman Drive-In Theater in Delaware County Ohio, w/ a then up and coming  pseudo underground (in her mind and world) celeb it was at a Drive In. I don’t recall it being a double feature. I’ve seen all of the Billy Jacks and most of the 1970′s Clint Eastwood movies at the Drive In as well as Cheech and Chong. 

In essence I’m in love with the entire Drive In experience these days. I never paid attention to the snack bar as a kid and didn’t care. If I had popcorn it was a bonus. These days let me stand in line and load up. There’s bound to be not one thing of any good nutritional value on the menu. 

The Leatherwood Drive-In was opened July 1953

The only drawback (other than my fathers barking spiders) to the Leatherwood was eerie and while the double feature playing, halfway through the second movie, fog would begin to roll in. The fog was low lying and it made for many a surreal movie experience. The drive back home to to Morristown was scary with the thick fog especially if you had just seen a scary movie.

Twice in my memory I recall us hitting deer on the way home. 

A yacht and a Rolls and a private jet,
A dirty blonde in a red Corvette
Wife and kids and a house and a pet,
Those are the things that I can’t get!

Countdown to the Milan DVD Premiere at Tubby’s Drive In and Newbomb’s Speed Shop and the best oven cooked pizza I’ve ever had. 

It’s another lonely evenin’
In another lonely town
But I ain’t too young to worry
And I ain’t too old to cry
When a woman gets me down

Got another empty bottle
And another empty bed
Ain’t too young to admit it
And I’m not too old to lie
I’m just another empty head

Broke another promise
And I broke another heart
But I ain’t too young to realize
That I ain’t too old to try
Try to get back to the start

And it’s another redlight nightmare
Another redlight street
And I ain’t too old to hurry
Cause I ain’t too old to die
But I sure am hard to beat

I’m gonna ride on
Ride on
Ride on, standing on the edge of the road
Ride on, thumb in the air
Ride on, one of these days I’m gonna
Ride on, change my evil ways
Till then I’ll just keep ridin’ on

- AC/DC “Ride On”