Broken Bottles, Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams Jan 2009
for more complete photo evidence see www.myspace.com/alexfuckingzander
Tuesday Feb 3:
I went outside yesterday, most of the snow has finally melted from my deck, and it was only 27 degrees but felt warm. My pirate flag was again, missing. This time I have no weather to blame it on. Weird. I’m screwing the next one into the foundation of my porch. The spirits have been quiet over a month now, it’s a relief, and I’ve shut my dreams off, and I’m hoping really hoping for a thaw. However, it won’t come soon enough as the next couple days are single digits again, but by the weekend it will be 40, just in time to mark my long overdue return to the MCA and First Friday along with Midnight Dave who moved back to Chi from LA
Oh the last 2 weeks, what can I say, I am finally getting my wits together enough to weave the web of tales. And oh the tales, many downs and a few UP’S and the UP’S are very much worth the while. From Katrina, to Carol’s and onto Baton Rouge.
This is only an outline so I can fill in details and photos later this eve.
Friday Night Jan 23
The Jett Blackk Blackout Begins
It all started with 4 bottles of wine, 2 bottles of mead, 1/5 Jack, 1/5 tequila, a handle of vodka, a 12 of Tecate and 5 litres of sangria a Chicago Style pizza , and 10 lbs of the finest Wisconsin cheese courtesy of the Irish Piper.
Julie aka Katrina Kraven arrives w/ Joe Rubino of Jett Blackk Heart Attack, Jessie G, and Chris Redd (former Murphy’s Law)
I have a bevy of booze and a large Chicago Pizza which they attack, and the girls waste no time digging into the 10 lbs of cheese shipped down from New Glarus by my good friend Mich aka The Irish Piper.
Julie is more well known as Katrina Kraven, an adult film actress. We met through some mutual people in the industry some years ago and developed a good friendship. She is my kindred spirit in many many ways. We had been bouncing around the idea of her coming to Chicago and maybe me going to visit her in Long Island. As it turned out last Oct she booked a trip for her and Joe, her other half and father to their lil girl Jayna to come here for Joe’s birthday. It was to be a surprise, one we kept well under wraps till he saw something in an email that we copied him on at some point. Nonetheless, I was looking forward to it more than anything all winter.
Katrina Kraven was very unique in many ways. She didn’t look like the other girls in film and she certainly didn’t play like them either. Just look up her performance in Riot Sluts 2 a DVD which she also graced the cover. But it wasn’t till Jimmy Mofo of Mofo Wear placed her in an ad in my old magazine MK MAGAZINE that she and I were formerly introduced. It would be about another year that she left the industry and we made contact on myspace.
In my mind she was beyond what some people call “awesome” .
So on a cold Friday night sometime around 11PM a cab arrived at my front gate and my four new friends form NYC were entering casa diablo, my lair.
They were all hungry and I had of course had delivered from Ranalli’s on Clark and amazing veggie stuffed Chicago style pizza. It didn’t last long. And after I gave Joe and Julie their gifts we opened up the booze and let it flow. It was the beginning of a long and fun filled night. It was the most fun I had since my birthday in New Glarus over a month earlier. Oh and speaking of New Glarus, at about 230 AM I walked into my kicthen to find both Julie and Jessie eating away at the cheese and spreading it with mustard.
The holidays were gloomy for me. I was although there was someone I considered significant in my life, I still spent those days as well as much of December either alone or at work. And in fact it wasn’t till just last weekend that I had realized how insignificant that whole fling really was. Thus being apparent, the dark cloud of gloom has been lifted from over my head.
But it was on the next morning that the cloud was about to be at it’s heaviest.
Sat Jan 24
Anyone that lives in Chicago or has been tracking this winter season is aware of just how harsh it has been. There has been snow sinew mid December, relentless snow and it has been very cold, bleak and grey. Very cold. For over 1/2 a month it didn’t get above 20 degrees and the hardest was one particular Thursday morning when I went to work, it was actually 17 degrees below zero. That whole week it was below zero, but this one day was the worst, and that didn’t include wind chill factor. It didn’t make a most depressing winter any livelier that’s for damned sure. But I had friends coming in from out of state and I had been looking forward to it more than anything.
It’s sometime around 9 or 10 AM, I awake to the dreaded email (details will not be provided) My flow of happiness is interrupted. I go from good time drinking to drinking out of depression and despair which will continue for the next 4 days. Why someone would rain on my parade right at the front of what was to be the weekend I was looking forward to is beyond me, but that’s how it was and it will remain a mystery of sorts. If I didn’t know any beter I’d blame it on a passive aggressive personality, but I do know better, and that’s what’s sad.
Not only was my heart broken, though I knew this was coming for over a month, and I had already faced the reality, but I didn’t appreciate the tone or the timing. So as I was saying not only was my heart broken, BUT SO WAS MY CAMERA! Hell I think that made it worse. Talk about bad timing.
After I let the shock of the email take over me, I became the host that I pride myself on and made a couple pots of coffee and bloody mary’s for everyone in the house. And I should note that I used the spicy green beans that Too Dark Mark sent to me from Louisiana in the concoction.
As we sat around chatting, and getting showered and ready to head out, I made drinks stronger especially for Julie and myself. I think it was obvious something was wrong and I was masking some sort of grief, but I played along and we laughed it up. I go to download pictures to find that my camera is broke. I had it in my back pocket and sat on the floor. Bad habit.
Joe was amazing as a guest, and in fact they all were. They did dishes, they picked up after themselves and there was no sigh that there were actually 5 people that spent the night and drank heavily.
It was Saturday the 24th and it was Joe’s birthday.
As I do all of my guest to town we did the obligatory brunch at El Palmar. The food is great the service is perfect and the dayshift ladies are stunning as the petite and proportioned Latinas with wonderful accents. Oh how they laugh at Zander. And I do not mind.
Walk to the carry out for more supplies. And the classic photo of Julie being followed by Joe and I walking down Sheridan Ave carrying black bags of, I guess beer, was taken. Julie picked up a bottle of Jim Beam since she had finished all of the Jack Daniels I bought for her the night before. We went back to my flat and continued the day.
We make rounds on the north side.
Tinkerbell a local gal who is a fan and friend of Redd’s arrives, she ends up staying till Monday.
Ranalli’s where we created a ruckus.
Belly’s where they shot pool and we were bored.
Cys’ Crabhouse where George my great waiter and good friend waited on us. We were, I was loud, and it was just a little too much for the people I’m sure were just a bit annoyed. But we kept going.
We wrapped Holiday Club for drinks and dancing. YES these ladies got me on the dancefloor.
Back to casa alejandro and at some point I crashed.
Sunday Morning Jan 25 Ughhhhhhh
There is a strange silence about the haus. Joe asks me if I remember the video, of course not. He remarks how I’m just like Julie in that sense. I hope there is nothing too degrading about what they captured on film. I check my voice mail, there is a call from my landlady regarding the noise, it is a first in the 2 years that I’ve lived here. I have hardwood floors, all the girls had one heels, I had on cowboy boots, the fellas had on boots. Someone had sex, I assume. I think it was more than just someone, I know it wasn’t me.
There was much very loud laughter. Julie was on film dancing in the dining room with my devil stick. There was guitar playing. The place is actually showing signs of a good time, yes there is a slow sense of wear and tear evident in my home.
I think I threw up.
Julie has alcohol poisoning and spends most of the day in bed.
For brunch I got to Holiday Club, for awhile with Tink and Chris Redd. We have tater tots smothered in cheese and order breakfast with bloody marys. To my surprise Tink picks up the tab. We do some photos in the photo booth, Julie, Joe and JG got to the redline coffee shop. We go back home, have drinks play guitars and prepare to go to the Foundation Room where I was hoping to hook Joe up w/ a lot of entertainment industry people being that Cradle of Filth are playing that night. Julie and JG spend most of the day in bed.
BTW, I had finally gotten the guest room done on their behalf. For the longest time it has served as storage. It’s cozy now, with a queen-size double thick air mattress and autographed celluloid photos and posted gracing the walls. It’ll be forever known as Katrina’s room. For as long as I live in Chicago. Which at this point, I seriously ponder.
I had spent most of the weekend out wearing little in the below freezing weather wearing little than a hoodie or one of my blazers. I certainly was not dressing myself for the weather, nor was I sleeping well or getting healthy food into my hole. This being said I was beginning to run myself down, but I numbed it w/ alcohol. And that wasn’t smart and it wasn’t going to feel very good once it caught up to me.
At 630 we were all dressed, Julie pulled herself together and all 3 ladies became beautiful - er and we got a cab for the House of Blues Foundation Room.
Inside, it was vacant and the show was barely sold. Sad signs of the current state of the economy, The Foundation Room as nice as it is and as nice as they are to me was quiet and dead. John P showed up and the men gathered in a prayer room and talked shop. I was working Joes band, Jett Blackk Heart Attack, the only new hard rock band that I really enjoy. The ladies sat in the main room by the fire.
After we had our drinks and some food, and took pix we all rode a cab and returned to Randall’s. We chilled there for a bit had a few yards and jumped another cab for Holiday Club which was busier than any place we had been.
Monday Jan 26
AGHHHHHHHH, the venomous emails begin.
Tink gets a call, our friend Kris Kemp drummer of Marazene has lost his battle to cancer.
I’ve known this cat and been friends since 1999 when he had a band called Cytronic. I had them on my radio show. They mutated into Marazene a band that would leaves it’s stain on the midwest, many members and develop a small loyal cult following. For awhile Kris toured as part of my friends Bile’s band. I got them on a big tour, Kris left the band on the eve of the first big show of the tour in Milwaukee. But over 10 years we shared many many fun and at times wild memories.
I last saw him at Jeff’s wedding back in Sept as he sat next to me and my “date” at the reception on that rainy rainy weekend, that was also hindered by death.
That was a week of personal hell. My grandfather died, they cut my hours at work, I was diagnosed with something added on top of my high blood pressure, I get a long distance negative email at a really bad time, and our friend Kris dies. Nice fucking week.
Everyone is hungry and want eggs. So I get the idea to take them to brunch at Wishbone because it’s close to the Chicago Guitars store. I’m really feeling the burn of the messages I’ve been getting. And I’m starting to develop a cough and sore throat. It’s cold and I walk about a mile alone, and trying not to dwell too much on my feelings. I still have another day with my friends. Everyone has spent too much money so after about an hour walking post brunch we go back to my place, which is starting to look the way I feel. I pass out, everyone is on their own. I wake sporadically at odd times. I have a drink go back to sleep.get up chat and go back to sleep. At this point everyone knows I’m upset. I become annoying, I feel like shit.
Tuesday Jan 27
Everyone has survived, we all say goodbye, hugs and kisses. Deep depression, reality and severe sickness form no protecting myself from the elements kicks in. I’m really sick, and I’m left alone with my thoughts. I have a fever, I have a horrendous cough, and to top it off I cannot sleep.
By all accounts for lack of a better phrase, right now, to me, life sucks. AZ spend the next 2.5 days in bed. I miss a day of work, and in that time I do not sleep. Everytime I started to I get a long distance text message that just lands another blow to a man who already feels kicked to the curb. Like the last week of my life hadn’t been enough. And the emails pile on top of the text messages and I wonder how much is enough already. Let me be, leave me alone, it’s over so let it be over. And it doesn’t help. I feel like shit.
I return to work Thursday, I’m still sick but I want to show my loyalty to the firm although there isn’t much left of it and I’m sure my job days there are numbered. I give my 110% as always sitting in my office wanting to die.
I look back at the visit from my friends, and they have been the best guests I’ve ever had. And they somehow put up w/ my tainted mood. I love them, and Julie has one helluva’ man in Joe. I love that guy. One of the nicest kindest hard rocking souls I’ve ever met. And Julie is just a doll. As beautiful in person if nor moreso, than on screen. And that’s saying something. I have the feeling this will be a very long friendship.
Over that lost weekend two people from my past got back into my life. One lady who was a little girl the last time I saw her, found me on myspace. Her mother was like a stepmother and best friend to me. Her mother died when I was around 21 years old. Shannon was pretty much a little sister to me. I haven’t seen or heard from her in years. She called me in the middle of the madness, I nearly cried when I heard her on the phone. Her mother was one of the best things of my life as a teenager. She kept me and my best friend Kevin out of trouble. She let us bring girls over to her house. She’s still with me, everytime I sneeze I know it’s her, telling me, warning me. It’s been like that since the night I roller skated with Traci Lords back in the Ohio Valley, before Traci was Traci. She committed suicide. She was one of the first people I knew that did.
The other contact was my old partner in crime Midnight Dave. I worked with him on his music career way back in the late 90’s. Took on a management role, got him on tour and in the studio. And not only were we collaborators but we became very good friends. We shared many many laughs and inside jokes,Everyone was someone else. If you like Adam Sandler movies, you know what I mean. Col.Sanders, Mr. French, Col. Klink etc. Like I said if you get it you get it.
Dave had stopped by about 2 years ago to say goodbye. He was one of those people that go out to LA and chase their dreams. Armed with a suitcase and a computer he went to Hollywood to become that stereotypical story about lost luck and more that is so well known. His experiences changed him, and every bad thing that could have happened to him did. And it has made him a better person. A friendship of 10 years now that includes performing, touring, radio, print and recording is an entity of it’s own. Now he’s home, he’s changed and is going into modeling.
A few weeks ago I was invited to a n.u.f.a.n. Rent Party, by Televixen aka Mary Czerwinski. If you haven’t seen her imagine a cross between Renee Zellwenger and Traci Lords. That’s what I told Dave and after he met her he commented that I was spot on. I asked my friend Mike Gierk who I hadn’t seen since last June to join me. It was a maybe. I also asked Dave and of course he said yes. This would be our reunion.
I was still sick and I nearly called it off. We had planned for him to arrive here at my place at 7. I was still layed up, I called and asked him to come closer to 8 he said okay. I layed there in the dark, sick, tired and restless. At 745 he showed up and I went down to my door and we immediately bust out in laughter. My entire fucking cloud of doom was disappearing. We hugged went upstairs, walked down the street and picked up a few beers and caught up and laughed and laughed for a good hour. Then we got a cab to the party. We arrive at 9 PM.
Saturday Jan 31 the n.u.f.a.n. Rent Party!!!
Televixen aka Mary Czerwinski who is truly a jacktress of all trades creative and entertainment invited me to this party.
We walked in not knowing anyone, and took a place in the corner and began mixing drinks. Of course many inside jokes were going on between us as we kinda made a party of our own. I was drinking crown and coke. My cell rang it was Mike he was on his way. Another good friend, a toy designer and artist who keeps me in constant laughter. It’d be an hour but he was coming. In that short span of time I won 2 raffles, one DVD and one book that was authored by Mary which she signed for me and placed her red lip print inside of. Dave won, the “oh shit”, the Barrack Obama DVD. We began mixing w/ the theatre people all very nice all very talented and all very much fu. I really liked the people I was meeting.
Mike showed up. And we all 3 were waist deep in laughter. Maybe even over our heads in it, all I know is I had 2 good friends w. me and hadn’t laughed so much in so little time in well over a month.
2 platinum blondes arrived. 2 total rocked out girls. Their names Angel and Chloe. As Paul (one of the produces / actors) said, the room lit up. Before I knew it I was doing shots of tequila out of bowls with them and Mary, multiple shots. I honestly have to say in all of my adventures never have I ever drank booze out of a bowl. And as I did the Crown, we knocked off the tequila. FUN!
The party was over at 12 and we left at midnight.
After dropping into my house Mike, Dave and I got a cab up to the Spot. Our ultimate designation would be Carols, a real honkey tonk up on Clark and Argyle I believe. Dave passed out or fell asleep on a table Mike and I hung till almost last call. Suddenly Dave was a wake and we were on our way to and sometime around 145 AM arrive at Carols for some country music and good ol debauch!
This is where it gets very interesting.
After we arrive at Carols we take our places next to the bar. It’s just starting to get packed and it’s open till 5 so we know it’s going to be very crowded which is just what the doctor ordered.
Don’t ask me how he did it, but Midnight Dave was very awake. We’re mixing w/ the people and some ladies and at one point both of my friends tell me that girl is really giving you the eye. I could hardly believe it but they were right. Next thing I know , instead of her friends it’s her I’m talking to. And we get into a rather lengthy in depth conversation. I’ll never get over her first name, and I wish I recalled her last name because it was very polish or Russian. And I was a bit in the wind but she did have very captivating eyes. The most I’d seen in ages. And she was only maybe 5′1 or 5′2. I will not mention her name but she was quite a looker.
Well as everyone does we piled all of our jackets on one barstool. And it should be noted that almost everyone in Chicago had a full length black wool winter coat. It’s just standard,. It’s dressy yet practical. So there is a huge pile of full length black wool coats and scarves both male and female piled about shoulder height. Dave is off around the dancefloor with some girl, Mike is outside with another and I’m making friends all around. I had no idea where these guys were. And I didn’t budge since I walked over and watched the band play a David Allen Coe song upon arrival.
Sometime around 415 AM we decided we had more than enough. It’s time to go home, so we pick up our coats and grab the next cab. On the way home la tres amigos are hungry so we go to El Palmar for burritos. Out of nowhere, my heartburn kicked in and I had to go home before my food was even served. I left the back doors unlocked for the guys. And I was fast asleep before they came back.
Then at 505 AM my cell phone rings and it’s a lady and she’s yelling!
Okay so I’m asleep and my friends I guess by the sound of them just got in. I answer the phone call from a private number and I take it, something I NEVER do, but I’m thinking maybe it’s the lady w/ the nice eyes and great name, so I pick up. (I guess the cynic in me stayed asleep) And this woman is yelling at me, and accusing that I stole her coat and I’m saying what the fuck are you talking about, I have my coat. And she’s no letting up, I ask who she is and she says nevermind and that I need to return her fucking coat. So I turn on my light and look on my bed and there is my coat, or so I think. Then I put on my glasses and pick it up and tell her, oh fuck it has a scarf in it and smells pretty, I think it’s your coat. The entire time not giving a thought as to where the holy fuck my godamned my coat is. I tell her sorry, and the are where I live, and say look, I’ll meet you anytime you want at this intersection. And she threatens yes and she’ll be w/ the Chicago Police. Well , of course she would, she was drunk.
I get off the phone and tell the guys and Mike actually freaked and drove all the way home thinking paranoidly that this drink of water is actually going to bring the pigs with her.
Let it be said that before Mike bailed we all talked about how everyone’s coats were piled on that one chair. Everones. And if I would have put it on over my blazer instead of walking out with it draped over my arm I would have naturally known it wasn’t mine, but that wasn’t the case. But the case was this: WHERE THE HELL WAS MY COAT!?!?!?
I go back to bed, Dave sleeps in the guest room and at noon I’m up. I’m waiting on this call and my day is on hold as I wait for the call. I wake Dave up at 1 and make coffee, and we debate laughingly debate on whose coat this was. Was it the young lady w/ the nice eyes and great name? Or maybe it was anyone of a number of attractive women we were conversing with. I knew one thing for sure whoever it was sure was lucky that they had my card w/ my number on it.
Dave pondered who the woman was he disappeared with at Carols and I don’t know I just remember him going off w/ someone and I was used to it. The ladies always come pretty easily onto Dave.
Funny thing about it looking back was that the three of us all met up where we split up, had a few more beers and left together.
2 PM in the afternoon of Super Bowl Sunday I get the blocked call again, I know it’s the mystery woman. She’s sober and very nice and asks if I would be kind enough to drop off the coat the Northwestern University Hospitals Emergency Room. I explained I worked 2 blocks from there and if she could wait a day I’d drop it off before work on Monday. She says no problem and to say it’s for Christina, and they would now who I was leaving it for. I ask her if she has my coat, she says no and that there were no more coats there. So my coat is now missing but you don’t hear me crying like Nancy Kerrigan! In all I figure, problem solved.
Not quite.
I had forgotten that I no longer work on Monday since my hours were sliced and I really don’t want to be known as a cad thus I ask David if he’d like to take a train ride and he jumps to the opportunity. So we put coats on and take the redline to the Mag Mile. Laughing all the way, by the way. Tennis balls on the El tracks, and missed connections, what hell couldn’t a coupla dudes ask for on a cold January Sunday afternoon.
I show David the MCA our next stomping grounds and we walk over to NW Hospital and work our way to the E Room. I approach the desk and put the jacket and scarf on the counter.
AZ: “Miss, I’m dropping off this coat for a Christina.”
Attendant: “Is your friend a patient?”
AZ: No maam, and she’s not my friend, she works here”
Attendant: “There ain’t no Christina I know that works here.”
AZ: “She left her jacket last night and asked me to return it here, she said to say it was for Christina, and you’d know who it was for.”
Attendant: “Do you know what she looks like?”
(Dave and I look at each other and both reply)
AZ & MD: “No.”
AZ: “Look I’m doing what I was asked to do so, I’m leaving this jacket, thank you.”
Attendant: ” Whatever then, thank you gentlemen.”
Dave and I are both grinning as we attempt to leave the E Room, and once back out on St Clair we erupt into laughter. I say, “Hey, I did my part.”
As we take our time walking to the redline train underground at Grand and State, we naturally cannot stop laughing. Fucking years this guy and I have been able to turn the simplest of tasks into some kind of great adventure that we still talk about to this day. (KEEP IT DOWN!) This overnighter was another.
It’s about 530 PM, the trains is crowded, and I text receive a text message from a 312 # that I don’t know, it reads “THANK YOU”. We laugh hysterically, and it was even funnier knowing that Christina wasn’t her name, but even better that she was most likely hiding somewhere as we came in, dropped it off, and departed. CLASSIC!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Next ROUND DEUX!
What the fuck have I been so bummed out about? - z
