AZ’s “DIARY OF A DAMNED MAN”

January 17, 2007

In dreams………..

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Woke up this a.m. after having a couple of whacky band related dreams. One I was helping Paul Stanley on a (solo) music video shoot on the Chicago streets, which ended in KISS playing on a street corner. Guess Gene’s Amazonian sized ego (thanks Chris) wasn’t about to let Paul have all the glory. Funny the guitars sat out on the corner of a Playboy office with the drums on the roof and the sound was off.
Then I had a dream about hanging out with Thrill Kill Kult and sitting in a beach chair w/ Jacky next to Frank who was on a bar stool tearing out his leg hair.
What can I say, I have odd dreams.
I woke up and made an executive decision. Being that this is my slow season, after mid Jan (AVN’s typically) and summer when the conventions begin, if there are no shows my life gets fairly boring. Seriously, when 5 days a week every morning begins before 6 a.m. with me in the shower and one of my cats Rammstein and his daily ritual of sitting on the sink howling at me till I shut the water off. Nothing worth writing about really happened. So unless it’s entertainment related or something significant happens I’ve decided not to share the details or events of my new relationship with my “new squeeze” with the world. This is something I cherish and not that it’s not significant, because it is, however, it’s private and unless we’re in public and doing something related to entertainment, it will stay what it is and that is our personal business. This has nothing to do with Shelly since she doesn’t get on line very often but it’s something I actually dreamed about.
So, I’m not living a boring life on weekends I just don’t think where we go, eat or expand our recently established union that unless we’re wining and dining with some rock n roll , porn or film types that it’s very exciting.
So with that being that, I only have one more thing to say. IT’S DAMN COLD OUT! DAMN COLD!!!!!

January 16, 2007

Back in thee Windy City and away from Land of D D D’s

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 First pick I ever saw of s’HELLY on myspace 3 years ago

I’m home and gearing up for my return to work. Exhausted isn’t even the word. I feel like I was in Vega$ in many many ways.

Back to the grind today.
I returned yesterday from a trip to Indianapolis where I stayed at Embassy Suites with Shelly and had visits from a good many of my best friends of Indianapolis.
I had arrived in Indy via AmTrack which was my maiden train voyage in the lower 48. I was on a trip through a part of Alaska about 5 years ago or so. This was at night and not nearly as beautiful. However, what would be my ultimate destination would be worth the tiring journey.
Mike Blackly picked me up at the station and we stopped at White Castle for a 14 pack of sliders and onion chips (mistake). I went into Meijer to pick up some Coors Light and we stayed up till 4 AM drinking and catching up on the last 18 months since I had visited his home the last time.I had to fight to go to sleep as it was a weeknight and for the last 20 months or so am accustomed to hitting the hay closer to 10 PM on school nights. Mike finally understood and allowed me to crash in one of the girls rooms, but not before bathing me in Carmen’s pink night light.
Early in the am I was awaken by his 2 lovely daughters Tia and Carmen. Mike and I got them off to school and got ourselves together to meet Shelly for lunch and find my hotel for the weekend.
When we walked into Shelly’s work establishment we were met with stares from her co-workers as well as some Dee Dee Dee’s who were in the house. Shelly looked professional and came out to my arms and we had 45 min to say helo, eat and see you later.
Mike and I went west of the east side and found the Embassy Suites and I checked into my massive room and Mike and I kicked back for a few hours and had a drink and watched Animal Planet. A few hours later Shelly arrived and we were reunited. Alas. It has been a long 4 days.
The next 4 were spent having the best time possible within the hotel premises. We had guests. JSin and Linny came Friday night. Saturday night they returned as did Mike and his wife Kari and Jeff Brown joined us. We all had a killer time on the 6th floor. We spent late late nights and I had a nice time not being at the AVN’s in Sin City, which on the tail end of my illness would not have been a very good idea.
Shelly and I enjoyed late check out and we had some time to kill before heading out in the country to what we would find was Chris and Margo’s massive new A frame home on a lake way out in the Indiana backwash. I hadn’t seen Christopher or Margo since my last trip to Indianapolis which was their wedding 19 months prior. So we drove through my old hood and went to Shelly’s home which incidentally was in my old neighborhood Irvington.
I was tired and getting more and more exhausted. At Christopher’s they made a huge feast and we ate ad drank and I sat in embarrassment while they share anecdotes of some of my antics which was on the heels of other stories she heard from my friends at the hotel. I guess she’d eventually hear it all sooner or later.
We were  awaked early and had coffee and Shelly began driving me back to Chicago. I was wiped out and spent most of the drive nearly asleep. Surprisingly we made it back before 11 AM central time and we relaxed all day and I made a Cajun dinner, we watched movies and she left around 8 to make the trip back. What a dedicated lady to make that trip 2x in one day. As tired as I was I found it nearly impossible to sleep till I knew she made it home, safe and sound.
Today I was back in the office and taking names and kicking ass. Literally.
I didn’t return empty handed though. Shelly gave to me the photo I first saw of her over 3 years ago on myspace. In that time, we communicated less than 5 times before we finally met. Hard to believe. I never got that picture out of my mind, and now it is finally mine. And then some…….

- AZ

 

January 11, 2007

Down With The Sickness

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my brother Blue and I 2006

 

I don’t recall when I’ve been sick for so long. When I awoke on Dec 26th and headed out to the train to go to work I felt a cough come on that little did I know would end not for over 3 weeks. At work it was progressively worse. I had made it through another Christmas Holiday., and Jeff helped make it all bearable. But I was feeling not quite myself. I had to be 100 % for Shelly’s visit, and though I had a wonderful time, I was less than healthy and I sounded like it.
The day my scarlet maned vixen left on Jan 2, I was in the doctors office. And I was diagnosed with a severe case of bronchitis. I was prescribed 5 more pills a day and missed a day of work and when I returned honestly don’t know how I made it through. The Adult Video Awards were coming up in a week and I had already taken the time off. Yeah, nothing heals wounds like partying in Las Vegas in the middle of winter with scantily clothed porn starlets for 4 nights. Yeah right! 
From Friday evening 1/5 till Monday morning 10/8 I did not leave the comforts of my home. And I nursed my wounds laying on my sofa in front of my TV watching movies and not getting any sleep. Shelly was at the Air Force base and called me at night. I continued to feel like living hell. On Sunday night, the eve before I was due back at work I was in fear I was not getting any better.
With my trip to Las Vegas cancelled and already having the time off I decided I needed and wanted to see Miss Shelly. So as I write this I am packed and preparing to take a train to visit her, on her turf, my old stomping grounds. And I am in nothing short of utter anticipation.
On Tuesday I felt my spirit return as did the spring in my step. I began to feel alive and much more like my old self. Today I am ready, and my cough is almost completely gone and though I am still medicated, I am up to the challenge of braving that city and to spend some more quality time with one of the most intriguing people I’ve met in ages.
I woke up and as I did laundry spent a few hours with my neighbor Jenny drinking coffee. I’m wired, and I’m nervous from the caffine, and I’m excited about my pending trek.
  

  

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 s’HELLY december 10, 2006 the morning everything began to change
(my brother was there)
I’m smiling.
- AZ

 

 

January 3, 2007

First update of 2007

 

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AZ and Shelly NEW YEARS EVE

 

  Happy 2007
 
Well, it’s been a great year thus far except for the sheer fact that I HAVE BEEN SICKER LONGER THAN I HAVE IN MY LIFE!!!
 
I left off after the suspension show where our lovely Lula disappeared into the night. The next day none of us had heard from her. Jeff and I went to Wishbone for lunch and my heartburn was a ragin’!

 

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Hanging Lula
That afternoon as Jeff drove back to Indianapolis, Lula had contacted me and some of the other people she had worried and informed us that she was okay. WOW that was a handful, to say the least.
 
I did nothing from Fri-Monday other than shop on Fri and sat home alone and watched movies along side my cats and cook a little for myself. I didn’t even go out. Late on XMAS day Jeff Brown had driven up from Indy and brought me the new Doors 40th Anniversary cocktail book. A great friend and a great gift.
 
It was back to work as usual but a shorter couple of weeks were ahead due to Xmas and New Years. I was looking forward for the damn Xmas holiday to pass which is grueling enough and for New Years Eve to come around so I could actually see Shelly face to face. Yeah, Shelly the young lady I had mentioned previously that my friends best describe as has me “smitten”. We had been talking nightly for several weeks and the day was closing in and I was greatly looking forward to it.
 
In this time we had gotten to know each other pretty well. A lot of similarities of our lives and tastes, likes and dislikes were in synch. It already felt good. Shelly had gone as far as to buy a new velvet dress for the occasion. I had made a reservation at Sangria for dinner because I wanted a comforting atmosphere for us to dine in before heading across town for the Thrill Kill Kult show.However she’d arrive one night before and the SPOT was throwing belated birthday parties for Marty and myself. So we compiled a guest list and prepared for a lil pre New Years Eve madness.

 

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 Jonathan the merry prankster actor of stage and screen messes with patrons at The Spot 12/30/06 (notice the severed hand)
Shelly arrived a little late due to missing an exit and when she arrived on the street outside of Casa Diablo it was difficult to contain my happiness. We parked her car right outside and began to enjoy the start of something I know I had been anticipating for weeks. I had a sneaking suspicion she did too. My scarlet Divas had printed to me several bottles of Camelot Mead from Oliver Winery in Indiana. Mead is a pagan delicacy and one I share with many of my “rock n roll” friends whose beliefs dance out there on the edge with mine. I have shared many a bottle with Type O and my good friend Mortiis, who drink it straight out of the bottle. I had a few gifts to bestow upon my guest and after a bit of small talk walked up to the SPOT for the event. We were joined by Marty and Dawn. Jonathan Goodman, Mike and a few other friends and we took our free drinks and I stayed for about an hour and had forewarned everyone that I’d be cutting out around midnight. Not everyone was thrilled that I was bailing, but as good as friends as they are, all understood. And they had better get used to it. I’ve closed the party for many years, so I feel I’ve gone beyond the call of “duty”, and it’s time that some old habits die softly.
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What the HELL! Is she doing with that hand???? We hadn’t even kissed yet!

On the way out one of our photgraphers Niva Bringas was having dinner in the posh dining room with a model. We sat with them for a few minutes and before we excused ourselves posed for a photo at his request. Niva is now the owner and photographer of our first kiss. So as fitting as it seems, one of rock n rolls most celebrated photographers shot the first picture of rock n rolls newest couple. Thanks bro, now please send the photo.
 
Shelly was too cold to walk back so we got into a cab, made our way back, popped open some of the wine and I put on one of my favorite collections of Scandinavian musicians titled, “And Even The Wolves Hid Their Teeth”. And as I has suspected it, she loved it. Thus it began and my intoxication with the lady from Indiana kicked in.
 
New Years Eve Day was upon us and I was happy to make breakfast for someone again and wasted no time in doing so. Shelly was being molested by my cats Wolfgang and Rammstein as I had predicted and they took to her as quickly as I had. We watched movies and picked at food and later in the day began getting ready.
 
At 6 PM we arrived at Sangria and were seated for dinner. The experience was to me mediocre at best. Sangria was once incredible for atmosphere, music and service and the tapas was par. But the overall experience was worth it. And as much as my date may have enjoyed it, I on the other hand was gravely disappointed. I wanted to share with her the best of something that we both have in common. Spanish food and music. The music was great, however the food was less than par and the service was miserable. But Shelly seemed to enjoy it nonetheless and in essence that’s all that really mattered.
 
However, being that they were rushing reservations in and out we had a dilemma. We were about an hour ahead of schedule. By the time we got to Wicker Park for the TKK show, it was much too early so we went to a place I used to frequent which used to be called MOD. However it wasn’t MOD any longer and was remodeled. It’s still had flash and flair with a hint of hip elegance. So we sat at the bar and I ordered a round of martini’s. Shelly had not had a martini to this point so I ordered her something light in the form of an Appeltini. I asked for something not on the menu but a concoction I’d leave to the discretion of our bartender. Well he made me something original alight, something original and hard to swallow. This mix was very strong and I appreciated his attempt and slowly sipped what I could in the hour we sat at the bar.
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After the hour passed we got in line, met Marty and Dawn and were inside the show. After entry it was a virtual who’s who of Chicago rock semesters and insiders. I chatted with Frank aka Groovy of TKK for a spell and Shelly and I mixed it up with a variety of my friends as I  remained spellbound due to her outfit.
 
Yes, her attire was the real highlight of the evening. A black velvet dress that accented her curves and boasted her bosom just enough to attract admirers and put me into a virtual state of hypnosis. In short she was stunning, and I knew it. She won over a majority of my friends and we took in the first band Last Vegas who were rock n roll like I hadn’t seen in quite a while. Not quite a good match up for Thrill Kill Kult, but it did make for a much more enjoyable eclectic evening. Shelly made it enchanting for yours truly.
 
TKK came out later that night and ripped through a stellar set of hyped up and restructured favorite and some latter day disco ditties. It seemed as though they played forever. For a little while I put my chest cold out of my mind and whether the coughing had actually subsided it didn’t bother me, as I was too wrapped up in what was thus far the best New Years Eve celebration I can recall being a part of. The company was great which included many friends, and the music was as festive as I’d preferred, only being topped by Cheap Trick at the Navy Pier Grand Ballroom several years earlier. Which, as it was a great show, the company was less desirable. A lot less.
  

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 Dawn and Marty cuddle New Years Eve
When the performance was over, I gave Shelly the option of going back and hanging with the and for an aftershow party or we could return to Casa Diablo. I did want to give my companion the option despite what I would have chosen.
 
We highjacked a cab and went to Casa Diablo and celebrated with Mead and music and each others company till the wee hours of the New Years dawn.
 
When we rose from our slumber I made breakfast, put on another movie or 2 or 3 and slowly prepared my traditional New Years dinner which I recalled from my Grandma Craft and Grandma Minnie back in my youth.
 
So 2007 kicked off with a bang and if the first hours were any indication it looks like it’s going to be a helluva year.
 
And Shelly will be in Chicago quite often if all goes as planned and she will soon see the real city, in all of it’s splendor. I love Chicago, I really too, and I only hope that she becomes half as infatuated with my city as I am.
 

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To be continued….
Next installment, Alex gets sicker, and misses the Adult Video Awards and Expo in Las Vega$
  

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