About Alex

Alex Zander, founder publisher MK ULTRA MAGAZINE and MK Magazine. Also creator of mk ultravixxxens at www.ultravixxxens.com. Currently residing in Chicago USA

Well do you, don’t you want me to make you. I’m coming down fast but don’t let me break you.Tell me, tell me, tell me your answer. You may be a lover but you ain’t no dancer.

“The water has been poisoned for quite some time as far as interaction is concerned. Social media has become a high school playground where the challenge is what idiot can come up with the best insult, and do you end up congratulating ‘em for it. It’s really sad. Either that or people just pushing their own respective ideas on everyone, trying to shove everything down everybody else’s throats, and so much elitism and so much lack of camaraderie and lack of unity. It’s become a very, very ugly thing.”

- David Draiman on Social Media

Tac Quick lunch:  Pad Thai, Spring Roll and Martini

Asa Akira hot shot

Swag from Viet Hoa Grocery

immm Thai Street Food

Hon Kee (Honkey?) looks really nice at night

At Tank Noodle with Mark Farnsworth


Broccoli, Napa, Shiitake Mushroom, Giant Oyster Mushroom, Carrot, Pea Pod, celery, Baby Corn, Green Onion, Cilantro

Remember to call my name, I adore it. If you speak my name, I implore it. If with all these things we invoke here. Call you out our name, but be forewarned, dear, I don’t mind the pain.

If that little Beach Bunny from June comes back in January as a Snow Bunny I’ll be a happy man and 2019 will be a good year and there’s no other way I’d rather kick it off. 

But first…

The third time better be the charm with Adam Becvare. 

A very long movie that was slow moving but held my attention.

A Cure for Wellness (2016) Director: Gore Verbinski 2 hrs 26 minutes

An ambitious young executive is sent to retrieve his company’s CEO from an idyllic but mysterious “wellness center” at a remote location in the Swiss Alps, but soon suspects that the spa’s treatments are not what they seem.


ReMastered: Tricky Dick & The Man in Black

This documentary chronicles Johnny Cash’s 1970 visit to the White House, where Cash’s emerging ideals clashed with Richard Nixon’s policies.

November 2017 Chicago

Mark Williams the Vice President at Warm Audio and AlabMedia Managing Director and 11 year veteran as PreSonus Audio Electronics Director of International Sales and Business Development will now serve as technical director/consultant for the MKULTRASOUND PodCast.

I’ve know Mark since winter 1998 and funny story we met at a Chicago gay dance club where I was DJing a Skinny Puppy record release party in conjunction with Nettwerk Records out of Canada. I’ve long considered him one of my best and closest friends.

February 2009 Baton Rouge 

I have the feeling that winter 2018 is going to be a lot like this cartoon. I got a very encouraging message from Echo yesterday afternoon that spiked my mood immensely. Last week I learned she loves book shopping. I have not shared that hobby with a woman in over a decade. I found a very old pic of her today from pre 2010. There’s not much that I cannot find. 

Sunday 11/11/2019

This was all done before noon this morning. 

More developments over the last 24 hrs regarding the Podcast launch in 2019. Audio and broadcast gear will be provided by Curve Audio and Alab Media as sponsors with Mark Williams serving at Executive Producer. I’m also considering a drive time live broadcast Monday’s 5P-630P with weekly running time at 90 minutes. Realistically being that talent would be working and or commuting at that time may just do a weekly Monday 9P-1030P live broadcast. There’s still time to look into that further. Nonetheless the reality is getting closer and closer ass will the launch date of possibly early spring 2019.

We also discussed details that will keep the show running smoothly and to a dedicated and tightly knit format.

Mark just got back from a business trip to Mexico City which just happens to be where he attended and graduated high school, and Friday he leaves for a week long business trip to Australia.

Big thanks to Dylan Smith in Missoula Montana for the kick in the butt to really set this in motion and also Kenny Ryback in Los Angeles for actually getting a couple logo options out there and more are to come. 

Too Dark Mark at El Palmar August 2010

Too Dark Mark and AZ Holiday Club August 2010


With crystal eyes she gazes like a desert flower in the morning rain. She’s well aware of every promise made. She’s a child of light in a world of pain. Crystal eyes, she’s an angel that fell to earth like a gift from God. Sweet, serene, skin like cream. My love protects your every thought.

I had a nice lunch with my good friend Tom today at Tank Noodle which is now my favorite. I’ve only been one other time and it’s always usually very crowded. 

Tank Noodle 4953-55 North Broadway Chicago, IL


Voted Top Three Best Vietnamese Restaurants in Chicago

A stone’s throw from the Little Saigon EL, this simple corner spot keeps pho enthusiasts coming back for more. Communal cafeteria-style tables, crowded during prime meal times, are stocked with all the necessary funky and spicy condiments. Efficient service keeps the joint humming and lets the patrons focus on slurping. Pho is the definitive draw here, and this fragrant, five-spiced, rice noodle- and beef-filled broth is accompanied by sprouts, lime wedges and plenty of basil. Other delights on the massive menu include shrimp- and pork-stuffed rice flour rolls with spicy and sour nuoc cham. Follow that with a fiery catfish soup simmered with an intriguing combination of okra, pineapple and crunchy bamboo shoots drizzled with garlic oil.

Bánh mì thịt nướng / Grilled Marinated Pork Sandwich
Cucumbers, cilantro, jalapeno, sour carrots, sour radishes, green onion.

Served to me by the most attractive waitress I’ve ever had in Argyle neighborhood.

 This DVD was in my mailbox when I got home from lunch for me to review from ARROW FILMS. 



Legendary Toei director Teruo Ishii tells three stories of moral sickness set during Japan’s prosperous Genroku era in this bloody follow-up to his sexploitation classic Shogun’s Joy of Torture, and the fourth entry in Toei’s ‘abnormal love’ film series. Ishii’s politically incorrect moral lessons paint a trio of tales of tragic heroines caught up in violence, sadomasochism, incest and torture.

Told in anthology style by an impassive physician (Teruo Yoshida), the first story follows Oito (Masumi Tachibana), an innocent young girl deceived by a handsome yakuza and sold into prostitution who finds herself in a doomed love affair with the man who brought her to ruin. The tale of Ochise (Mitsuko Aoi) is about the daughter of a rich merchant whose insatiable appetite for filth and perversion draws her deeper into violence, darkness and betrayal. Finally, the story of Omitsu (Miki Obana) follows a sadistic lord (Asao Koike) whose eye is caught one day by a beautiful member of his harem who shares his strange taste for pain and blood, but who holds a secret of her own that will destroy his entire household.

Casa Diablo Alejandro Diablos cheese grits

4 cups water, 1 tbs salt, 1 cup course ground corn grits, 1 tbs butter, 2 cups shredded cheese, 3 tbs 2% milk and a splash of hot sauce

Yesterday I had a nice lunch with Tom at Tank Noodle and I’d only dined there one other time and have since searched out other alternatives as it’s so popular and so very busy. After yesterday I will brave those crowds and happily return. It was above par and no wonder its rated in the Top 3 Vietnamese restaurants in Chicago.


Tom dropped me off on the corner and I waked through Graceland cemetery taking many pix. My favorites are here.

Buena Park

Graceland Cemetery November 2018 Lakeview/Buena Park/Uptown

It’s cold and windy here and outside is not enjoyable. I’m impatiently waiting on a call from the office for when my next contract will begin. Next weekend I book my visit to Kankakee County for the 3rd year in a row of celebrating my birthday at the Looney Bin. I have no Thanksgiving plans but plan to make a turkey for myself and whoever wants to join me. Mark the person renting the spare room for nine months goes back to Iowa every weekend and during the holidays they are longer stretches. It’s almost like not sharing my place at all. He is good company and a smart guy with good taste in music and food.

The planning stages of the Podcast are slowly coming together. Echo will be visiting in February and we’ll see how good of a fit we will be for the show together. 2019 is poised to bring major changes in my life and now that things are slowly getting back on track I feel extremely optimistic as well as a tingle of excitement.

I just watched X-Rated 2 The Greatest Adult Stars of All Time on SHOWTIME – Documentary offering a close-up of the lives of legendary porn stars. It was kinda crazy how many people I know on the show and those I consider friends, old friends at this point. Its also narrated by Mr. Skin whose home and offices I’ve been to. It’s nice to see a positive spin put on these people as opposed to the mainstreams medias sterotypes and misinformation. .

Buena Park it’s my kind of place. I like the pace of this place. I like the style, I’d like to stay here a while. I like the birds singing in the trees. I like the girls and they like me.

Here is a picture of a Spider Dude on his phone outside of the office building where I’ve been working on Halloween. I’ll be posting more here over the weekend. There are lots of images coming. 

Death of a good friend is a very hard for me to write about. Jays funeral is Saturday and I can’t bring myself to attend. 2 years ago going to Jeff’s funeral was unbearable. I wasn’t there 10 minutes. No easier is writing about the loss of a good friend like Jay. He was one of the best men I’ve ever known. Fun, brilliant, successful, charming and above all loyal. In 2017 when so many people that I once considered friends who my home, heart and wallet were often open for turned on me and ranted on social media, Jay defended me and was there for me through the entire ordeal. 

The day before we rode together from Elburn to Kankakee County to see Tracii Guns solo band tour he asked me, “Should I drive the Corvette or the Jag?” I replied the Jag and Emily agreed when I told her. How many friends do you have that can ask you that question?

So much has changed in my world in the last month or so. 2019 will see the launching of the MKULTRASOUND Podcast and a very significant partnership. 

The great Kenny Ryaback out in Los Angeles stepped up and created several logos for our forthcoming Podcast set to launch in early summer 2019. Thank you Kenny.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory. Jay Panick “You will be missed my friend”

Jason R. Panick

August 01, 1967 – October 30, 2018

Jason R. “Jay” Panick, 51 of Elburn, Loving father of Jake & Nicki; son of Adrienne and the late Jerry Panick; fond brother of Mark, Adam (Tiffany) and the late Lisa Panick; uncle of many. Visitation Saturday 3:00 p.m until time of service 7:00 p.m. with cremation to follow at Hursen Funeral Home & Crematory, SW corner of Roosevelt & Mannheim Rds, Hillside/Westchester

Take my hand. You’ll never find another quite like it. And if you did, you’ll see that I’m a lonely one. The sun don’t shine. The wind won’t blow when you go hide. Without your love I’m lonely deep inside.

The albums title and theme were directly influenced by Eric Fromm’s book Escape From Freedom, which had presented the same theory, that people would rather be told what to do than think for themselves.
- on DEVO’s album “Freedom of Choice”

You wear those eyes that never blink. You always were the missing link.

You paint your mouth, you let me know. You really are the only show.

You got that walk, you do the stroll. You make me lose my ground control.

You got that look I can’t resist. Like something missing, never kissed.

You do the pogo without the bounce. You got the name I can’t pronounce.

You fall in love you like the sting. You make believe it’s everything.

My little China girl, you shouldn’t mess with me. I’ll ruin everything you are. You know it. I’ll give you television, I’ll give you eyes of blue, I’ll give you a man who wants to rule the world.

Alex Zander
Looks like the trip was a success. I thought of you both after that train derailed yesterday. Glad you’re home safe and sound. Thanks for the Taiwan Ass pic. THAT WAS SO FUNNY. Took me 1/2 a minute and I was laughing . I’m working back again doing research. I was here 6 months earlier this year. Its on a per contract basis so length remains to be seen but I really love working here and the view is the best I’ve ever has in all of my years in corporate here. Miss you both!

Rona Rougeheart
Yeah that train derailment was the day we left. Scary bc we did take some rails while we were there. Aw we miss you too! Glad I got the Taiwan Ass pic bc we were in a cab. Hilarious! We were just at the right angle where the rest of “association” wasn’t showing of course I thought of you! glad to hear things are going well for you! Hope we get to see you again soon!

Alex Zander
Thats even more funny that you shot it from an angle to capture ass. I sooo appreciate the thought and effort. I wonder if you were laughing. Funny that my friends though it was a pic of scooters. Asian Ass nothing like it.

Rona Rougeheart
Hahaha you know it I did laugh and told Curse I had to get the photo for you. The cab was at the right angle where the rest of the word was covered up and I just happen to catch it. We were stopped at a light.

Rona Rougheart of SINE

Well she grabbed my hair and I began to rise I could tell what she wanted by that look in her eyes. I said “Come here babe and make it quick”. She said “Not so fast” and she had a drink.


Train train take me on to downtown (Red Line)

Honey I’m home

Good morning from the 27th floor 730AM

Brown Line 

Screw you guys I’m going home (Brown Line)

I find it a lot easier to be inspired to write from infatuation than I do the heart anymore. Every time I write from the heart I end of regretting it. More often than not I give it to someone that doesn’t deserve it. But I’ve made more poor choices than wise choices as I’m a sucker for a woman with “spirit”. I can write a song in 10 minutes when it comes from infatuation without even needing to re think the words. 

June Bug

“then she bared herself
and stripped my soul
began to shake, rattle, and roll
and then she took control”

“Looks So Good”

- Alex Zander

the b-side of “Red Head on the Red Line Blues”


I met this lil lady from Kansas City

Good freaking lord she’s so goddamn pretty

She crowds my mind with her porcelain face

She makes me mess all over the place


She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby be mine


Oh yeah She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby baby baby be mine


Porn star quality raccoon eyes

Ohh they make me feel so hypnotized

Yeah when she quakes and she shakes

You oughta hear the all the noises she makes


She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby be mine


Oh yeah She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby baby baby be mine


The lil girl she’s got me out of control

she makes me rock yeah she makes me roll

always driving me out of my mind

I wanna make her mine all mine ohhhh


She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby be mine


Oh yeah She looks so good

She looks so fine

She looks so good

baby baby baby baby be mine

Talked with Nick Huffman after work last night. It was a long over due conversation. Truth be told  there haven’t been many people I’ve really wanted to talk with over the past month or so. Most of them force themselves on me. All women, go figure. But it’s all in love and I could not have made it through the last couple of very long lonely months without their persistence and generosity. More than what I can say about most people. So back to Nick, we’re working on my birthday show w/ Electric Revolution which will be the second band from Kenosha WI I’ve worked with that has the word “Electric” in their band name. I can’t wait to get out of the city and into the comforts of that hotel and it’s amenities again and spend a late night in my favorite bar in the lower 48. Adrian is going and I’m inviting Amanda to tag along with Cassie. 

I slept great last night. It felt good to be back at work and feel a sense of purpose and I now have the roommate situation figured out. Finally a decent human being and from Iowa of all places. I finally feel like I can actually move on with my life again. Doors of all kinds are starting to open up around me, again.  

And while I’m giving credit where credit is due I have to applaud the one I once affectionately referred to as Sylvie B. I’m in a complete different place than I was 2 weeks ago for sure. And it’s a much better place. 

Greg The Drunken Duncan on  a Thursday night pop in playing my bass Sylvie B

This one was for my muse

The ominous clouds in eastern sky at dusk Saturday 10/20/18 they were much darker than the resolution represented in this image shot from my back porch.

Adrian rocks the Loony Bin solo

Adrian Holman
12:20 AM
to me
Yeah, Selena was working that night, black with a bunch of tattoos. She’s hot. Oh yeah, I can meet you at the train station on Saturday, just let me know the time to be there. Your greatest breakthrough always comes after your toughest test in life. Power through until the 15th because that will be one of the best times ever.
Adrian Holman
Sun, Oct 21, 10:43 AM
to me
Hello Alex,

I finally have a day to write before prepping for Halloween parties next weekend. I hope that you are feeling better because a lot of people were looking for you at the LA Guns concert, which was phenomenal as usual. Eden Eve was doing photography, and she looked so stunning. I met your friend Jason, who is a boss. He had front row access with his girlfriend along the side of the stage. Also, Nick and Barney were there from the Looney Bin, and Nick gave me a free ticket to see Tantric last night, which is how I met Emily. You were right about her – she rocks! Also, Nick upgraded on the bartenders so Dec. 15th will be extra nice.

I had a few females there at the LA Guns concert so you could have met them. Since a lot of people have moved from Cicero to Plainfield over the past 15 years, the MILF’s in the area has been bolstered immensely in that 40′s range. It’s tremendous. I’m thinking that P.O.D. and Ministry are supposed to be at the Forge back to back nights in late November, so I will be there unless overtime is mandatory. However, I will get the 15th off for sure.

I don’t wanna end like this. But the sting in the way you kiss me. Something within your eyes said it could be the last time. ‘Fore it’s over. Just wanna be, wanna bewitch you in the moonlight

“absence makes the heart go wander”

This is what a chronic insomniacs bed looks like when he finally gives up and gets up

Rona and Curse are in Taiwan visiting her parents and she sent and tagged me in this image she took last night with the note “thinking of you” .

Above 2 yrs ago to the date!

Garbage Setlist 10./17/20/18 at Riviera Theatre, Chicago, IL, USA

Temptation Waits
Wicked Ways
The World Is Not Enough
13x Forever
Get Busy With the Fizzy
Hammering in My Head
Can’t Seem to Make You Mine
I Thiik I’m Paranoid
Sleep Together
Soldier Through This
Lick the Pavement
Push It
When I Grow Up
You Look So Fine

The Trick Is to Keep Breathing
No Horses
Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go!)

Who knows, well I don’t care, ’cause I don’t fit in anywhere, But it’s all right, yes it is all right. Well, I’m numb but that’s my style, I’ve been numb for a little while

Gauge w/ Greg Miner and I at Embassy Suites Rosemont just because I mentioned her yesterday
Riddle: “I can sneak up on you or be right in front of you without you knowing. But when I reveal myself you will never be the same.”
Answer: Betrayal

Riddle: “I can’t be bought, but I can be stolen with a glance. I’m worthless to one, but priceless to two.”


Answer: Love


Now like a bird
She flew away
To chase her dream
Of books and praise
Still I miss her
Yeah I miss her
Since she’s gone
Who played the fool?
Self pity sick
Jet fuel perfume
Still I miss her
Yeah I miss her
Since she’s gone


I fucking swear, if there’s one goddamned thing that pisses me off more than anything else is getting BLOWN OFF!

I never thought that back in my days as a freelance writer that I’d be grateful for having an interview rejected by 3 Pittsburgh based rags. This is the record that inspired the creation of MK ULTRA and special thanks to Justin Devlin for turning me onto it 25 years ago.