About alex

Alex Zander, founder publisher MK ULTRA MAGAZINE and MK Magazine. Also creator of mk ultravixxxens at www.ultravixxxens.com. Currently residing in Chicago, IL 1998- See Alex Zander at www.myspace.com/alexfuckingzander

world on fire world of pain find myself wanting you again all I want all I need let it be captured in my heart

Wired on caffeine. Too wired to handle the delicate work on the book. I got about 30 pages done this afternoon. Need a break. 

I’m on a detox weAkend, which means not even 1 drink, not even beer. Last night I got 10.75 hours of sleep. That’s a total of maybe 3 nights total over the past week. 25 mg OTC sleeping aid, 20 mg of Melatonin, plus 2 giant gulps of NyQuil and I slept 10.75 hrs. I could have slept longer if I wanted to but I had a 9 AM meeting with Emily to bring my vest to me as a finished product. Of the several dozens of people who have made false promises to me it’s nice to see someone finally came through. She did so much work on it and didn’t charge me a penny. She even drove 3x all the way from Kankakee County to meet with me. 

Friday I left work early after getting written up and warned for wearing my clown suit into the office. Seems some people were so freaked out that I got in trouble for what I saw as a simple harmless prank. I came home and still communicated with two people from the office on projects I work on tomorrow. I had been up since 2 AM and was shaking. After my warning I was even more stressed. I guess I need to go back and see Dr. Tong soon. 

Solid sleep Friday night was not much better. I was awake at 3 AM, went and ran a couple errands in the cold and windy weather and waited for my maid Maria to arrive at 11A and then went back out to do laundry. She did a great job and was done by 2P. She’s expensive but worth it and gave the flat a deep cleaning. I cancelled the plans I had with Greg for Saturday and Sunday. I just need to detox and rest. The next two weeks I’m travelling for concerts out of town so this is my last chance for solitude for a while. 

I’m finding more and more material for the book as each day passes. I’ve got a visit from Matt Zane coming up to do the Mancow show and then it’s just rock n roll for stretch. 

What I really hope for is a visit from my brother in April. Some good ol family time is good medicine for what soul I have left. I have a weird feeling I am on the brink of a really good summer. 

I finally found something to make these a little brighter for the Warhol room. Two Crystal Head Vodka bottles I filled with fish tank grave. Thanks to my friends at the House of Blues Foundation Room for these years ago.

Crystal Head Vodka is a brand of vodka manufactured by Globefill Inc. in Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada. It was conceived of and founded by actor Dan Aykroyd and artist John Alexander in 2007.

Till next time



Perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most Forgot how it feels well almost No one to blame always the same Open my eyes wake up in flames It took you to make me realize It took you to make me see the light

Birthday girl Fang at Tac Quick

With Max at Sugar

Design by Emily Sifrit

Fun and games with AZ

Emily at El Palmar, who made my wonderful MK ULTRA leather cut

This was too perfect

 Squirting 101 the sequel

Strolling w/ Ash

Max Bravo man of a million talents

 Ash, Adrian and AZ

Missing Morgan Russell on a Sunny Sunday Mourning


Sugar Factory American Brasseri 55 E Grand Ave, Chicago

Bringing something SWEET to Chicago’s famed River North area, just off the mag mile. Created by a team of world-class chefs, the menu selections include everything from pancakes and sweet and savory crepes to salads, burgers, steaks and shakes, all available throughout the day. This celebrity favorite is sure to satisfy any sweet-tooth craving. Signature treats include famous Couture Pops, Smoking Goblet Cocktails, Candy-Infused Martinis, and the one-and-only King Kong Sundae. This 9300 square foot eatery features prime party and event space including a chef’s table, two private party rooms and retail space, complete with our sweet shop’s signature items. 


Straight out of the dressing room I wear my new clothes Fall down thinking about you Straight out of the dressing room I wear my new clothes Fall down thinking about you

A little gift for one of my fave waitress’ at Tac Quick

At El Palmar (photo by Emily)

My breakfast Saturday 2/18 930AM

 At Sugar with the lovely Ginger hostess

 Street art in my hood


 Max had me do this





Late night dinner at El Palmar 2/17

 Jazz Hands





I believe in something else now go bother someone else stick your fingers in your book take a better second look you crook


The last 2 nights I’ve been waking up at 3AM. Once again my mind won’t shut off and I’m wide awake so I’ve been showering at 4AM and watching The Americans from 430A-515AM and leave for work at the regualar time of 545AM. I’m exhausted by 3P but tonight after work I’ll get back to work on organizing for the book which I’m having a hard time coming up with a title for. I need to bounce some ideas off of Ashley after she takes a look at what I’ve compiled so far. 

Gearing up for a very busy March month. After this weekend, Bob from Boston is in town and we’re heading out to eat Tuesday night. Hot wings! Finally something better than this damned boring diet I’ve been on. 

My first visit back here in 3 yrs will be Friday night.

And my first bile ride of 2017 will be this weAkend.

I did schedule a deep cleaning maid service for a week from Saturdayand I am looking forward to a spotless haus again. I hired Maria back the maid I got through Greg Miner. It’s been too long and now that I feel the worst winter weather is behind us it’s as good as time as ever, especially with all of the dust I’ve created going thru countless boxes. March is going to kick off my busy stretch of months. 3 concerts with 2 of them including out of city overnight trips. 

Pre Order is in for delivery next Wednesday

Kelly who takes care of my hair sent me this last night. 

How about “Wine, Women & Song” the MK ULTRA story, (a savage journey through the sweaty underbelly of rock n roll’s subculture)?


He’s been with the world And I’m tired of the soup do jour He’s been with the world I want to end this prophylactic tour Afraid nobody around here Comprehends my potato Guess I’m just a spudboy Looking for that real tomato

It’s starting to look like I’m going to be seeing a LOT of concerts this summer. Garbage and Blondie the weekend after Chicago Open Air and they are both outdoors with the Rage and Rapture show coming to my fave outdoor venue Ravinia.


After work I started going through 22 years of boxes that have been home to the MK ULTRA Magazine archives and it’s almost like having another job. Lots of amazing things I forgot about long ago. Now I start the job of cataloging all of it. Its going to take weeks but the end result should be pretty fucking cool. What a trip.

Stopped at Michaels Art Supply Store for more materials for my  MK ULTRA project and then had my hair done at Milio’s. Thanks Kelly. Quick bite to eat at Tac Quick and back to work on this thing. 

Lunch / Dinner with Emily tomorrow at El Mariachi Tequila Bar and handing over my vest for her to patch up. I want this thing to make a statement and she’s the right person for the job. 

11PM show passes are done. WOW. Most autographs are cataloged and I started putting together the best pieces that represent the genesis on mk ultra. There’s so much more and then come the photographs which will take weeks. I have a dozen or so boxes and 4 trash bags on the back porch that are going into the trash tomorrow.
Most passes per band: Type O Negative, White Zombie, Danzig, Pigface, Ministry Motorhead, Ozzy and KISS. I still have to go through all of the garbage passes of which there are many as well.
I’m wishing I hadn’t sold some of those I had years ago on eBay when I was broke. 

 Doing an interview with Frank DiMino who was the singer for ANGEL on March 4 in St. Charles. Bob “Newbomb Turk” Hoeksema will be doing the photos. 

letter from Groovy Mann singer of Thrill Kill Kult from 93

Just found 1 crate and 2 heavy boxes full of signed posters and 8×10′s. This is gonna take forever.

Friday night went by so fast in the hours that I was organizing pieces for the book. I’m still blown away at some of the things I’m finding. Letters from bands to me way back when I was just a freelance writer, and many tokens of memorabilia. This is going to be the ultimate scrapbook for fans. I’m having fun working on it.

Saturday morning AI ran errands and cleaned up around the house before Emily arrived for an early dinner. We walked over to El Mariachi and were greeted by the very friendly general manager. We walked in and he looked at us and said, “we’re closed.” We all had a nice laugh. 

El Maricachi the home of over 150 tequilas and me being the tequila snob that I am asked Emily if she trusted me to order and she agreed. I asked for 2 premium margarita’s on the rocks with salt and 2 shots of Corzo Silver the finest I’ve ever had. Upon tasting both it was confirmed that I was an expert. Once again I was trusted to order and this time it was food. Hot Tequila Shrimp (Shrimp sauteed in our spicy tequila tabasco butter sauce) and Champinones al Tequila (Sauteed mushrooms with garlic, onion, lime, tequila and jalapeno peppers covered in melted cheese) and again I had scored a winner. 

We walked up to my place after and I showed her around my place and some of what I’ve been working on and then she pinned the patches on my leather vest that she’ll be transforming into a one of a kind MK ULTRA biker vest that I’ll debut at SEXCON which MK is also now an official sponsor of. She’s a fashion designer by trade so I know it’ll be spectacular. When she left I walked over to Tac Quick which was very busy and waited on Greg Duncan to arrive. It was also the owner/chefs birthday and he was all decked out and had a table of lovely ladies with him and be brought me over a plate of giant prawns. We hung out for about 2 hours and came home to watch the Hateful 8 till Greg passed out. I was feeling a bit buzzed and in good spirits so I went online and ordered one of teh girls an AC/DC Cubs T shirt. I’ll give it to her Friday night after my visit to the Zou B Art Center. 


In the morning we walked over to El Palmar for breakfast and finished the movie. When Greg left I hopped online and saw that my help in finding actress Zenova Braeden an apartment in Sedona was a success. I could not have done it without teh help of my friends at DSN Music and speaking of which I’m working on getting Matt Zane on the Mancow show. Seems I’m more active in the music biz than I’ve been in some years. 

Just found another box of signed 8×10′s and backstage passes I have to organize for the damned book.

All shook up and bent out of shape Wasn’t johnny b. goode but it sounded great That night – tell me that’s right From the cabaret to the highway of hell Had a monkey on his back it was easy to tell

Okay, when you’ve got a taste for halibut you don’t go fishing in a river. 

Friday after work I opted out of going to Tac Quick for happy hour and instead grabbed my duffel bag and went shopping. In 90 minutes I was home and my fridge was filling up. I felt good about my option and took in a movie and went to bed early as I had to get up and get laundry done before heading off to the parade. 

Lunch at Pho Loan and Avocado Bubble Tea

It’s been a coons age since I’ve had to juggle 5 projects at once at work and I must admit even though they seem to infiltrate my dreams as they often do I’m happiest with so much on my plate.

I’m almost done with the AC/DC book and was surprised at how close they were with Cheap Trick during the Bon Scott era.  ‘Love Comes a-Tumblin Down’ (1980) the riff-heavy rocker from the band’s 1980 album All Shook Up was written as a tribute to the late, great Bon Scott. Trick and AC/DC had become fast friends in the late-’70s, often crossing paths on the road. As we all know, Bon sadly passed away, and shortly thereafter, Rick penned this tribute to his friend. With lyrical references to Scott and AC/DC, not to mention some killer lead breaks, it’s a sincere tip of the hat to a great one gone too soon.

My plans for the weAkend were disastrous. Everyone cancelled on hitting the parade with me and I went solo. It was weak. Maybe a dozen or so dragons, a small band, drums and 2 floats. I sat inside at Pho Loan ate there and watched in from inside. It was damned cold. I hit up a couple stores for groceries and went home. I stocked up on a lot of vegetarian friendly food for Patricia’s pending visit. I’d learn early the next morning she’s be forced to cancel again. I had 2 more free days and didn’t do much but stay in and rest. So far only 2 weeks into the low carb diet plan I’ve dropped 10 or so lbs with zero exercise. Not bad. I can imagine once i get back on my biking routine. I’ve just been unhappy since i dropped so much weight after surgery that by the holidays I was bloated. All of those damned Asian noodles and tortillas did me no favors. I was ingesting an obscene amount of carbohydrates.

Its midweek and all I have on my plate next weekend is dinner with Emily. Other than that I’m laying low. March is gonna kick my ass as I already have 3 concerts lined up. Then like last year it shows no sign of slowing down. Time to enjoy my downtime while I can. 

“The price we pay for living in a free society is toleration. We have to tolerate things we don’t necessarily like in order to be free.” – Larry Flynt

Keep everything in the farm yard upset in every way The dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl Dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl Watch out strange cat people Little red rooster’s on the prow

I rushed out of work to get up to Argyle before the store closed and lo and behold the fucking protesters were for the first time ever on my side of the Loop blocking the buses from leaving the newly opened Union Station Transportation Station where every bus crossing the loop and leaving to the burbs were stuck. I was less than happy and at the same time perturbed that the nearly 85% white mob were shouting NO USA KKK and WHITE SUPREMACY. What the motherfuck? So I walked through them and made my way to the Red Line a mile away. I finally got to Argyle about 615 and after all of that Phuong wasn’t working. Since I was there I bought 3 Sand Pears, 5 pickles and a bag of dried ginger which I had planned to do anyway. Luckily on my way home I noticed posters for the annual Lunar New Year Parade this coming Saturday so I sent Max a message and made plans to attend the celebration to the year of the COCK.


Take part in a long-standing Argyle tradition and watch colorful lion and dragon dancers make their way through the Uptown neighborhood and along the main thoroughfare of Argyle Street to celebrate the start of the new Lunar Year – the year of the rooster!

This looks like so much fun and I’m happy to have found out. Max, AJ and Greg are going with me so far. I’ll get a new watchband for that crazy new watch I bought last week, we’ll see the parade, eat and hopefully I can pick up where I left off. 

Bob Salisbury called from Boston during my commute to let me know he will be in town later in the month and we made plans to get together after I returned his call. It’ll be good to see my old friend again after his visit last August the same weekend as Jeff’s funeral and who pretty much helped keep my spirits alive back then. Bob and I go back to when I was the manager at Bee Window in Indianapolis in the late 90′s before my move here to Chiraq. 

I finished my last serving of pan seared Oyster Mushrooms, took in an episode of TV and slept like a rock, again. 

AMMENDED FOR ADDITIONAL CONTENT: The devil take your stereo and your record collection The way you look, you’ll qualify for next year’s old age pension!

“Well I guess I’m too conservative for my liberal friends, too liberal for my conservative friends. You all have fun fighting your own social media Vietnam.” – Sanjula Vamana

My ol pal Sanjula summed up exactly how I feel. Social media the evil that some consider it to be has been a platform for more to display what they think is their political expertise when most of it is all based on faux news, paranoid conspiracy theories and above all that their beliefs are the only beliefs that matter and if you don’t agree unfriend them.

As most I’m no happier with the current commander in chief than the rest despite who won the popular vote. I never liked Donald Trump as far back as when I first become aware of him in the mid to late 80′s and much less even now. But I also didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton based solely on that fact that she would continue with many of Obama’s policies namely “shared responsibility” when it comes to healthcare. I think it is bullshit that my premiums in 2015 were $239 per month, in 2016 $340 per month and then for 2017 $597 per month despite the fact that I made $25K less than a year ago and by opting out of having healthcare now have to pay the $695 “shared responsibility” fine to cover those who do not work. The few spans of time when I was unemployed I took care of myself. I’ve bused my ass and struggled for everything I have now and don’t believe its fair that I am required by the government to share after the fact that I already pay part of the highest taxes in the nation.

The individual shared responsibility provision of the Affordable Care Act requires you and each member of your family to have qualifying health care coverage (called minimum essential coverage), qualify for a coverage exemption, or make an individual shared responsibility payment when you file your federal income tax return.

So at this time in order to pay off my medical bills have opted for the latter this year. Otherwise I simply cannot afford to live where I do and will not flirt with the idea of moving elsewhere within the state of Illinois. My next and final move if and when it happens will be south.

On the other hand this is the last I’ll mention it in my writing. I’m going to live my life as I have, free and happy and continue to strive for more success and not cry about the aforementioned sad fact or spend the next four years crying over an administration that I am not happy with the way so many others do on a multi-daily basis online on social media or otherwise.

I condsider myself an enviromentalist and not a tree-hugger by any means, but it’s a sad reality that global warming is a fact. I saw it first hand in Alaska. In my mind those who choose to believe otherwise says that is a selfish way to feel with no care for mother earth nor harbor any consideration for any other generation but their own. I believe in a woman’s right to choose, that’s right, I not only support but encourage pro-choice. I’m for legally having the right to bear arms. I am against big government and I’ll all about the freedom of speech despite who it offends as opposed to as most have used it in the past 8 years as a means to support their agenda. I’m for the legalization of marijuana for medical purposes only but believe that penalties for recreational use should not be punished beyond a small fine depending on the laws of your state. Although I am a “devout” atheist I will not discriminate on anyone’s personal religious beliefs. Whatever gets you through the night baby! And I support each person’s right to engage in any activity that is peaceful and honest, and welcome the diversity that freedom brings. If there were a common sense party I’d love to align myself with it.

If it were up to me I’d tear down over-simplified, one-dimensional political stereotypes portrayed by the media and confront it all with humor. After all what really matters is that we’re all Americans, with diverse thoughts, opinions and stances on issues. Millions of unique, individual parts, the sum of which comprise a whole that is the shining beacon of freedom throughout the world. We need to embrace our differences, and never forget that we’re all in this together.

Now that I finally have that off my chest I’ve got my sights set on something new for the first time in a long time which is actually taking some worthwhile effort and about living a happy and healthy 2017. (Currently of a strict diet of less than 50 carbs a day till late spring, and it’s not an easy thing by any means)