About Alex

Alex Zander, founder publisher MK ULTRA MAGAZINE and MK Magazine. Also creator of mk ultravixxxens at www.ultravixxxens.com. Currently residing in Chicago USA

I’m a winner, I’m a sinner, do you want my autograph? I’m a loser, what a joker. I’m playing my jokes upon you. While there’s nothing better to do.


This is Robert Ellis. I want to give you a quick update regarding the No Safe Spaces DVD that you ordered. After seven weeks, Monday, we were finally allowed access to our warehouse with a limited staff. While unavoidable, not being able to mail the DVDs has been very disappointing and frustrating for us. Customer service and delivering your order on a swift basis has always been our objective.

Now that we have been given access to our warehouse we are working virtually around the clock with the limited team to get the DVDs mailed. When the order is sent, you will receive a USPS tracking number.

We are grateful for the opportunity to serve you. Thank you for your patience and your purchase of No Safe Spaces. As I said in my previous email, if you have any questions, feel free to call me directly, even on my cell phone.

My best,


I can’t imagine there is any better example of social distancing that running, jogging or biking on the Lakefront trail. This one really pisses me off the most. Its going to be in the 80’s next week. I’ve seen families with young children biking in the city streets which is not safe.

Liberte, egalite, au jour d’hui see’est tres tres tres. Voici l’opportunite nous incroyables. I got the moves they got the grooves. Summoned the gods and they all approved.

Saturday the weather warmed up a bit and I took a bike ride up to Edgewater around noon. My first stop was Edgewater Produce 5515 N Clark St, Chicago a very well organized grocery store offering fresh fruit, vegetables & meat plus an extensive selection of Mexican food. I picked up 4 varieties of huge peppers that I intend to stuff with crabmeat and cream cheese this weekend when Dan and Brad arrive Friday evening.

From there I, on the advice of my landlady Syble ventured a little further north to the Gethsemane Garden Center 5739 N Clark St, Chicago a sprawling, upmarket garden center & greenhouse offering plants, flowers, gifts & outdoor furniture. There were 3 different lines for 3 different sections of this massive garden center. Being it was a day before Mothers Day the line for the flower section stretched about a block and a half. I was there to pick up vegetable plants so my wait to get in was only about 5 min. They controlled how many people were in the store and everyone practiced social distancing. I picked up 7 plants of 4 different varieties and then put them into the box I had strapped to the back of my bike. Everyone at the store was wonderful. I’ll certainly be going back soon.

When I was done there I biked a little further northeast and stopped to have a drink with and visit Max Bravo. I wasn’t in a drinking mood but we caught up for about an hour and he also gave me some tamales to take home. I can’t wait to eat them. I had one more stop to make at the Andersonville Jewel. Its much different from Jungle Jewel or the Edgewater Jewel and was also VERY crowded. I bought some fresh fruit and made my way home.

I was still nursing the bottle of Smirnoff I purchased Friday night and there was still some leftover to share with Cassie when she came to meet up with Yvette and I do do a full blown podcast. 3 cameras etc. It was a really good show with 3 videos by my old Polish friend Peter Guellard. As the show was uploading I walked to Walgreens to pick up a small bottle of Smirnoff and Cassie ordered a HUGE vegan pizza which was surprisingly good. While at Walgreens I was finally able to pick up single use masks which were pricey but now a requirement in Chicago.

Monday morning I slept till about 730A and was feeling a little wear and tear. I walked into the living room and saw an empty bottle of Smirnoff on the floor. That’s is a first. Cassie got home around 11P and we had been hanging out and talking for hours the night before. My cats were on their morning ritual with the big one screaming at me everyday when I don’t get out of bed to give her wet food when she demands it. I turned on my work computer and saw all of the emails with resumes I’d have to get on. I was dragging and my voice was shot. Between seeing Max Saturday and Cassie and Yvette on Sunday I had talked more in two days than I had in 2 weeks since March 15th. All in all it was a very productive day and I have a full calendar till Dawn and Brad arrive Friday.

The Blue Angels flyby Tuesday 5/12/2020

It’s another lonely evening and another lonely town. But I ain’t too young to worry and I ain’t too old to cry, when a woman gets me down. Got another empty bottle and another empty bed. Ain’t too young to admit it and I’m not too old to lie. I’m just another empty head.

The new LA GUNS song made me think about how much I’m going to miss seeing them this year. I had at least 2 shows planned and the first being in July at a town fest in the far suburb of Streator and then again at the Arcada in St Charles. It’d also give me a couple of visits with Bob “Newbomb Turk” Hoeksema. I love seeing that band with him and LA GUNS are always a very good time.

By accident I discovered a movie I very much enjoyed titles Mermaid Down. It was a horror/fantasy with a production cost of only $85K. I absolutely loved the film. I had the Gordon/Yuzna Spanish film Dagon based on the HP Lovecraft short story saved in my Tubi Queue for months so I thought I’d watch it Thursday, When I went to access it I found that it was now only available per pay.

A mermaid is ripped from the Pacific, her tail is chopped off and she’s thrown into a mental home where no one believes she is a mermaid.

Thursday after another very busy work day I discovered I wasn’t going to be watching Dagon and I tried the new HBO Natalie Wood doc and it couldn’t hold my attention so I channel surfed and finally said “fuck it” and went to HULU to watch South Park and as luck would have it I stumbled up on a series I had not heard of titles Siren.

The coastal town of Bristol Cove, Washington, known for its legends of once being home to mermaids and mermen for centuries, is turned upside down when a mysterious young woman (Eline Powell) appears and begins wreaking havoc upon the small fishing town to look for her captured older sister (Sibongile Mlambo) who was abducted at the hands of the local military. Marine biologists Ben (Alex Roe) and Maddie (Fola Evans-Akingbola) work together to find out who and what drove this primal hunter of the deep sea to land.

These finds are all good and well considering I’m a man who has a mermaid shower curtain in his bathroom.

Street vampires in the night, young lovers and love at first sight. This is my flesh and my fantasy. Older women with younger men, I’ve got a feelin’ I’m in trouble again, but I’ve got to live my destiny.

Last week marked the 1 year anniversary of the MKULTRASOUND PodCast and even though development has slowed down considerably and Yvette being ill for over a week now the show does go on. I’ve also been extremely busy with work so my weekdays just blend one into the other. 

I was over thrilled to see that El Palmar is open again or delivery and pick up and am anxious to give them some business soon. 

With the last of my Italian meatballs I made a grilled  meatball mozzarella with onions and Franks Red Hot Buffalo sauce on whole wheat. It wasn’t bad and I’m getting sick of cleaning my kitchen. 

Friday I ordered 2 Gyros from Byron’s and was in shock to how fat they made them for me. They were the equivalent of what a double meat Gyro usually is. Its the first time they did it for me like that and I’m not complaining. I walked to Jungle Jewel after work and grabbed a few things and a bottle of Jim Beam Devils Cut as I wound down Friday night finishing the final episode of Boardwalk Empire.

Saturday morning I got up and made a Mexi breakfast and then dragged my large suitcase filled with a month of laundry to WASH U COIN LAUNDRY which was a little over a mile each way. It was beautiful out and I didn’t mind the walk and was overjoyed when I saw they only let 10 people in at a time. If you follow me on social media you know how much it perturbs me when someone almost every time has to load their dirty clothes next to mine especially when its not crowded

When I was home and put it all away I took a 6 mile round trip ride to the Walmart Neighborhood Market for groceries. Sunday after knocking out another PodCast  I biked up to Edgewater Jewel to do the same. When I wasn’t running errands I sat on the back porch listening to music loudly, observing my new neighbors and sipping handmade margaritas. 

The it was Monday and cold and cloudy. Buzz Kill

4/19/2020: I am a wolf, a wild cur. Cut from the pack, with blood on my fur. Every howl marks a debt Cause a beaten dog, never forgets.

Another mundane weekend but we did manage to knock out another podcast with Yvette making the trek into the city.

My big event was Saturday talking a nice stroll through Buena Park up to Jungle Jewel to pick up some burgers (box of 6 1/3 lb sirloins) some sides and bread to BBQ for Yvette on Sunday. I hate that damned store but this time instead of self checkout I went through a line with an actual cashier. Since I brought my own bag I stuffed them myself which I normally do anyway. I was in no hurry and took my time. I noticed that the streets once littered with Cheetos bags are now littered with disposable rubber gloves.

When I unpacked I made another trip to Alta Vista and then to Walgreens for some ice. I came home made a drink and began scripting the next days podcast with Yvette and Ilker. Once that was done it was time for my evening ritual of watching AHS 1984 and Boardwalk Empire while intermittently watching YouTube clips. I got stuck on the show Yvette and I did with Ania back on the 15th of March the day before everything as we know it went to pandemic hell. I had fun watching and shared it with some friends from around the globe who may not have seen it.

My face mask delivery detained

Yvette arrived just before 12 noon and we had a quick meeting. It had already been a long day for me and I was worn out as I set up the video camera and set the levels to make the call to Ilker in Baltimore. It was a good show with a really great flow. Not long after Yvette left from doing the show I had finished uploading all of the files to send to Cassie for the YouTube edit, which is a pain in the ass and I really miss her working directly on the show. I looked outside and notice people lined up and down both sides of my street about 6 ft apart. It was freaky and initially reminded me of the scenes from John Carpenters Prince of Darkness where a growing group of homeless people gather at the edges of the church (led by Alice Cooper). I took a few shots and when I realized they all had card I figured it was a line for a food bank and though it was Lakeview Pantrys new COPVID-19 location at Wrigley Field. The next day I learned I was wrong.

From Uptown Update:

The Greater Chicago Food Depository and St. Mary of the Lake (4200 North Sheridan) are teaming up to provide some emergency food relief to families who have been hardest hit by the pandemic.

Beginning today, and each Sunday as long as the pandemic lasts, a 30-pound box of food will be distributed to each person or family who needs it, beginning at 3pm.

There is a very long line of people that has formed along both sides of Kenmore.

St. Mary has provided videos in both Spanish and English to explain how the process works.

Social distancing and wearing a mask are important, and it is asked that each family send only one person (one who is able to handle a 30-pound box of food by him/herself) to stand in line.

Закрой свой гребаный рот, ты просто чертовски плотный Если ты ненавидишь меня, почему ты говоришь? Ты не имеешь никакого смысла Получил грустную жизнь, грустную жизнь, иди в гребаный ад Ты тупой или инвалид, я не могу сказать, черт возьми

The first person who saw me when I walked out the back door said “You look like, you look like KISS.” I didn’t but I wanted to say with muffled breath, “I haven’t ever heard that before.”

It’s Thursday and another really rough week is behind me. After I learned my father passed and that none of the family can get together for a memorial for months I spend days talking with old friends and family members from afar. Our fathers wife Pamela had him cremated and there are plans for a memorial but that’s way off. As of now its looking like this quarantine is going into may and maybe longer. Festivals all around the world are being cancelled as our the precious street/neighborhood fests of Chicago. I was unable to work Wed-Fri as there was just too much to deal with. That doesn’t prevent some people from being heartless as it doesn’t affect them. My co workers understand.

Sunday we tried to do a show but my performance failed miserably. I wasn’t in the mood and to top things off the fact that I had bought food to BBQ and fix for Yvette and Mark and that a water pipe in my building burst, the water was shut off all afternoon and I was unable to wash dishes. Ilker and Yvette will return this weekend and we have some things to discuss and some cool music to share.

I still hadn’t had any good sleep and my diet has been shitty as I’m getting zero exercise and am eating frozen/processed foods loaded with sodium. I always say I eat better during the week when I’m working and commuting than I do when I’m home. I’ve decided that starting tonight I’m going to walk up into Uptown and back each night after work and on weekends. I’m gaining wait faster than I ever thought I could. 6 weeks into this lockdown.

Monday before I started work I had to walk down and get money orders to pay my taxes. Even though they’ve pushed the deadline back 90 days I just wanted to get it done. I have no idea what’s going on with the USPS but it’s always been more than lousy in my Zip Code which is why I don’t get most mail here. I’ve fought with the Post Office for years and they just fuck with my service after I complain.

I didn’t get a good night of sleep since the night before I heard that my father lost his fight with cancer. Last Tuesday night something didn’t feel right and neither me or my youngest brother could sleep so we were on the phone long after midnight. I hadn’t had trouble with sleep in over a month. This past Monday not even double dosing my sleep meds could help. Even though I was exhausted and had been for days. On Tuesday after a video conference with work a co worker Rebecca checked in with me about my father. It was nice that someone outside of the circle cared. That night I got the very best night of sleep that I’ve had in years. I woke up in the same position as I had laid down as. With my fat cat sleeping on my feet as she does most every night I even had pleasant dreams, The next day I was well rested and had an overwhelming workload and billed 9 hours and I’m doing the same today.

But that doesn’t keep those out to get me at bay. Oh no no ……

So my Soundcloud, Facebook, and website had all been attempted to be infiltrated in the days since my fathers death as if things couldn’t get worse. As I said some people are heartless. There’s this one “person” had commented on a pic I posted of Al Jourgensen mooning the camera backstage on the FILTH PIG Tour in 1996 when I initially began working with the band. She then proceeded to to through over 3,378 of my Instagram posts and reported them for “nudity”. Oh how the most moral people voice so loudly, and then I received a late night email from this person to an email address I haven’t used in years, taunting me.

I reported and flagged “nudity”. Cannot allowed on Instagram.
Please allow the nude buttock pics on Twitter only may contain “sensitive media”

The pic she originally commented on before reporting my images

Well we tracked her down and she’s supposedly 34 years old and lives in Sanford FL and seems obsessed with MINISTRY has she has hundreds of MINISTRY pix from Europe as well as shows where I’ve been over the past 25 yrs. She’s also into Disney, NBC, The Simpsons, Hello Kitty, Anime condom ads, Hustler cartoons and the Playboy Bunny logo.

The Stalkers profile on flickr
She went as far back as 8/22/2018 reporting cartoon images

So as of today that’s where things stand. I got GREAT news that Cassie is returning to her home and her puppy Pony and the show we do on Sunday should be on YouTube early next week.

For those of you who shared kind words, continue to check in and have been patient, thank you and much love. To the others… well you know.

I got the word at 509 AM via a text message from my son that after a long battle with cancer my father passed this morning. I wasn’t able to sleep last night as something just didn’t feel right and I was up for hours and talking to my brother about my father having a day or so left.

My love goes out to Nick, my brothers Aaron and Erik, my great cousins and Aunts and Uncles.