My big top tricks will always make you happy But we all know the hat is wearing me My bag is in the hat, it’s filled with this and that My vision’s getting fat, the rabbit’s just a monkey in disguise Stars and pills and needles dance before our eyes

It was 82 degrees late afternoon Friday. By the time I left work at 530 and arrived at my destination 30 minutes later the temps dropped 20 degrees and the winds were whipping its wings.

Other than shop for myself I would need items for my Sunday night guests. Colossal shrimp, a cheese plate, a variety of spicy pickles, jalapeno stuffed olives and the best mustard available. The alcohol would wait.

I watched some episodes of Shameless and Dale and Anne arrived just around 10:15P and we watched TV together, chatted and I hit the sack planning up getting up early to do laundry. When I woke it was chilly and rainy and I said “fuck it” as it would have to wait and I showered and made coffee for my guests as we killed 2 hours before heading out for lunch. 

I took Dale and Anne to at lunch at Pho Viet, 4941 N Broadway St, Chicago. As usual I had the appetizer sampler; 4 Spring roll w/ 4 shrimp & 4 pork skin spring roll, 4 fried egg roll, 4 fried shrimp cake, pork, 4 grilled beef. Served w. lettuce, cucumber mints, steam rice noodle, hoisin peanut sauce, sweet & sour fish sauce. And followed that goodness up with a big bowl of Mi Tom Cua (Egg noodles w. shrimp & crab meat) which nice nice on my sore throat. Then we went to Chiu Quon Bakery, 1127 W Argyle, around the corner and I picked up some nice Asian breakfast rolls and a few big cookies. (total: my fave # $7.14). Afterwards I dropped my Kenneth Cole watch off for repair at New World Watch, 1038 W Argyle and will picked it up next Saturday ($85). Then we went to Viet Hoa Plaza, 1038 W Argyle St, where I bought some fresh produce and some ginger chews for my throat.

On the way home we stopped at the nice new ROSS store, 918 W Montrose Ave, that just opened in my neighborhood and I priced some new Kenneth Cole luggage and some new kitchenware I’ll be needing and then across the street to Jungle Jewel where I bought some wine, sangria and fixin’s for margaritas for my lady guests who are coming tomorrow afternoon and tomorrow evening. There were very some good deals so I bought much more than planned. It’s all good in the end.

Dale dropped me off and as they go out shopping I’m going to chill at home and get ready for a long night at Reggie’s. I have a big day planned tomorrow as well so I’m gonna need a little more downtime than usual. I’ll be picking up some Misery Machine t-shirts for Khe Khe and Fang that I’ll be gifting them with tomorrow.

Speaking up gifting. Dale gifted me with 2 large jars of pickles when he arrived last night.

Testosterone and Pyrotechnics


Testosterone and Pyrotechnics. Those were the words that came to mind as I witnessed Swedish director Jonas Åkerlund’s 98 minute testament to the  live spectactal of a RAMMSTEIN concert. Of course I’ve seen them in concert and there’s nothing else that even comes close to a show of this production, skill and precision. But this version and the quick editing and a few of the digital special effects expanded my mind. It was mind blowing.

I was joined by Michael X. Christian whose band Misery Machine is playing part of that SOLD OUT show at Reggies tomorrow night and Invisible Record’s / Martin Atkins alum Bill aka Vas O Agnostos who just returned from SXSW and offered to lend a hand in creating the MK ULTRA book. 

The DVD comes out in May and I’m going to buy it the day it ships. As for now I have a very busy weekend in front of me that begins with Dale and Anne arrving this evening. 

Wenn getanzt wird, will ich führen Auch wenn ihr euch alleine dreht Lässt euch ein wenig kontrollieren Ich zeige euch wie´s richtig geht Wir bilden einen lieben Reigen Die Freiheit spielt auf allen Geigen, Musik kommt aus dem Weißen Haus, Und vor Paris steht Mickey Maus

The last time I was at the Music Box was New Year’s Eve 2015/2016 and I saw the Hateful 8 and it was brutally cold and I was painfully crippled. The time before was to see The Human Centipede 3 at a late night showing. For a few years before that I practically lived at this place for all of the 3 day long horror film fests and once had Tura Satana appear at the showing of Faster Pussycat Kill Kill (just before she passed away) and spent some time with the great Crispin Glover after his indie movie showings which followed a long afternoon we spent dining at the House of Blues. I have so many great memories of this place which is actually walking distance from my home.

Thursday I’ll see the one night only showing of the Rammstein “Paris” concert film with my good friend Michael X. Christian. I much more appreciate these old movie houses in comparison to the newer mutliplex options. Plus, never really many kids to annoy me. 

Now that the smoke’s gone And the air is all clear Those who were right there Got a new kind of fear You’d fight and you were right But they were just too strong They’d stick…

Sometimes I can’t believe my life. When things are good they’re beyond great and when it’s opposite it’s about as depressing as can be imagined.

With the wonderful weekend I had before this past adventure, I came home to learn that Ronnie Bennett was dead and so were Greg and Kelly’s Grandmother who I was once close to back when Kelly and I dated. That was a decade ago and she had lived the last seven years with Alzheimer’s. Not a pretty way to go but she was an amazing lady and had a heck of a life and a great sense of humor. The same can be said of Dale’s brother Ronnie who was fun to be a round and a very kind friend who almost every year would send Dale with a cool full of deer meat he killed for me.

For Greg I’m sure its especially tough being that not just a couple months ago lost Bree the love of his life. We got together Saturday afternoon for a few drinks and later dinner w/ a bunch of friends. 

Playing the big stand up bass along with Max at the Chicago Brauhaus

Greg Miner, Rich Frost (both Electric Hellfire Club alum) and I had planned to meet for dinner at the Chicago Brauhaus and days prior speculation about the Lincoln Square staple had begun and by mid week was the subject of full blown hysteria on Social Media. Some Chicago diners were starting to get their lederhosen in a bunch because there’s a “for sale” ad for Chicago Brauhaus in Lincoln Square. But it doesn’t necessarily mean a closure is imminent for another iconic German restaurant. Knowing full well that this would mean the already busy restaurant would be busier I made a reservation for 6 at 6. Not expecting what they had in mind for my guests and I .

Earlier that morning I had plans to get laundry done and meet Emily for margaritas at 1PM. I slept in till 815 and panicked. As I was heading out she sent me a text letting me know she’s was getting a shower and would be calling me in short order. As I was doing my wash she called and I could tell she wasn’t feeling well and she had a fever so we rescheduled. No problem and now I didn’t have to rush.


One I was ready I took the CTA to Lincoln Square where I did a little shopping and walked into Hansa Clipper and took a seat at the bar. Christine greeted me as usual and told me she heard I had made a reservation at Brauhaus. I confirmed and we talked about the social media frenzy and she told me about all of the phone calls in regards to it. Brauhaus has been around Lincoln Square, a pillar of that German-American neighborhood for 52 years. There aren’t many places like Brauhaus left in Chicago, large spaces with plenty of dark wood that feature German bands, throwback German-American staple dishes, and giant glass boots of beer. It’s become one of my favorite places to visit.

I ordered a plate of pork schnitzel and potato salad that Christine’s mother Kiki made for patrons at Hansa Clipper. She makes a dish every weekend a it’s become tradition that I have it to kick off my visits to Lincoln Square. Greg Duncan showed up and I had already loaded the juke box with some great rock tunes. He brought me a brand spanking new HUSTLER hoodie he purchased for me on his recent trip to Los Angeles. It’s sweet. Christine liked that I played The Stones Wild Horses first which was followed by Riders on the Storm. We shared a couple beers and Christine bought us a shot of Jamo before we went to the Record Store and then to Quake Collectibles whre I picked up a few more birthday gifts for my brother and Greg bought a big Star Trek model ship. Afterwards we walked into the Brauhaus and took a seat at the bar where we were greeted by Kiki and the accordion player Max Tempia as we waited for our other friends to arrive.

When the other Greg arrived with Rich and also Tom Finnegan we were seated at the best table in the haus, right in front of the band and given who they told me was their best waitress Amy to take our orders. Before long in walked band leader Gody Windischhofer and he came and sat with us before performing. Gody is referred to as the “Austrian Elvis” and he’s a local legend as far as a performer of great German music. I was shocked when he asked me to write a couple of songs for him and I have 2 in mind that I will deliver soon. 1 love song and 1 pop song and just maybe the song “Designated Drunk” that I wrote for former porn starlet Katrin Kraven (who is also the namesake of my cat). We were treated like rock stars and given the full VIP treatment. At one point I got up and played a song with Max on the big standup bass. I was on TEN! I ordered the Deutsche Bratwurst (original German pork and veal bratwurst). It really makes me miss Glaner Stube in New Glarus. Greg’s sister Kelly joined up for dinner and when we all went our separate ways I took a taxi to Tac Quick where I saw Khe Khe was wearing the AC/DC Cubs shirt I bought her a few weeks before. Greg, Rich and Tom joined me for a nightcap and I walked home and fell fast asleep. 


 Best seat in the haus

The plan Sunday was a nice lazy day and I got a text from Max Bravo with a one word suggestion, “Micheladas”. We met an hour later at El Palmar and as we walked out I said it was hard not to be drawn across the street to Tac Quick. Max suggested one more and I obliged. The rest of the day I cooked a bunch of food and binge watched Shameless, my new guilty pleasure.


What a great weekend over all.


Thursday night I have the Rammstein “Paris” concert film to see with Michael X. Christian and Friday night Dale and Anne get into town and we’re seeing the sold out Pole Show performance at Reggie’s and we’ll just have to wait and see what develops on Sunday evening. Should be interesting at the least. 

Sunday morning Michiladas at El Palmar with Max Bravo

Alex Zander‎ to Phil Owens March 17 at 6:02pm · Nice try Mr Funnyman. I found it.

Phil Owens But I still won. Its been a week, there’s no way it isn’t contaminated lol

A candy-colored clown they call the sandman Tiptoes to my room every night Just to sprinkle stardust and to whisper “Go to sleep. Everything is all right.” I close my eyes, Then I drift away Into the magic night.

Sunday April 9th QS&L Portage IN


Thursday March 23 RAMMSTEIN: PARIS @Music Box Theater

SOLD OUT! Saturday, March 25 Live Band Pole Show! NIN-Manson-Korn Tribute @Reggies

Saturday, April 1 PHAT KISS @ LIVEWIRE

Sunday April 16 John 5 and the Creatures @ Reggies

Wednesday, April 26 The 2017 Chicago Sexcon @Volkan Night Club

Tuesday May 2 TESTAMENT – SEPULTURA – PRONG @ Concord Music Hall

Saturday May 13  The Cult @ HORESHOE CASINO in Hammond, IN

June 23-25 EXXXOTICA @ Donald E. Stephens Convention Center

July 14-16 CHICAGO OPEN AIR @Toyota Park

Saturday July 22 Blondie and Garbage  @Ravinia Highland Park, IL 

Wednesday Aug 9 Cheap Trick, Foreigner and Jason Bonhams Led Zeppelin Experience

Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here


She’s Asian and no, she’s not from America. 

It’s been a long ride. I’ve put a lot of time and effort and above all patience into this venture. I refuse to cheat myself and if  I can’t feel as much overwhelming passion as I did last summer then I just won’t even dance to that song. 

I believe that this time it’s pure and going in I am comfortable with the fact that I am. 


I left the office at 530 to meet Phil at the Megabus stop. Its been moved to a desolate wasteland. There is no shelter and no place to go such as a fast food joint or store. It was very cold out and I wasn’t dressed for the elements. In short it sucked. When his bus rolled up I was ready to get out of there. I hailed a taxi on Canal Street and suffered through the stench of the driver. The train was crowded and people were loud and I was getting antsy. Finally we got to my stop and we walked to Walgreens grabbed a vodka ans some beer and had a fast drink before dinner at Tac Quick. I ordered Yum Woon Sen Talay Secret Menu Dish (Glass noodle, shrimp and squid with fresh lime juice, peanut, garlic, onion, green leaf, cilantro and Thai hot chili) which proved to be one of the most spicy dishes I’ve ever had and is a new favorite. The chef-owner Itti Damprapa actually showed me the proper method to eating and and remarked that it is also his personal favorite. I’m going to order it again this coming weekend with Emily. We hung out for awhile talking with the staff and sharing a couple more beers before heading back home to watch Dirty Grandpa.

Saturday I was up early and we took the Red Line downtown braving the parade idiots and got on Metra heading to Waukegan for that evenings CHEAP TRICK concert. We got to the hotel, Holiday Inn Express Hotel & Suites in Waukegan, a few hours before check in and they wants $50 more for checking in early. I flat out refused and like the stubborn self I can be at times chose to sit in the lobby and wait it out. It worked because within 5 min they (General Manager Justin Shelby) and an exception for us allowed us to check in. I wasted no time changing into swim trunks and hit the jacuzzi which had some very weak jets but it was hot and relaxing. Then came a group of loud children and initially I was annoyed but found myself playing their beach ball pool games with them. Then it was back to the room and things got hysterical. I came out of the shower and Phil took a picture of me naked. Payback would be a bitch. He sent the image via text to his stepfather Christopher Curry who replied, “Ive seen that thing before.” Then Phil made the mistake of taking a bath with the door unlocked so I filled a bucket full of ice and dumped it on him. A prank I once played on Christopher 20 years ago. So he told Phil a way he could get me back.


Around 4P we took a taxi into the city to see the show at the beautiful Genesee Theater. It could not have been a more different experience than the weekend before. The audience were well dressed and friendly. I bought a girls small CHEAP TRICK T shirt for Khe Khe and we took our seats inside. This would prove to be the best CHEAP TRICK show I’ve ever seen and that’s something because I’ve seen them a lot since April 24, 1979.

Hello There

Come On, Come On

Elo Kiddies

Big Eyes


Hot Love

If You Want My Love

Ain’t That a Shame (Fats Domino cover)

On Top of the World

The ‘In’ Crowd (Dobie Gray cover)

Never Had a Lot to Lose

She’s Tight

I’m Waiting for the Man (The Velvet Underground cover) (Tom Petersson on lead vocals) (with ‘Heroin’ snippet)

Magical Mystery Tour (The Beatles cover)

The Flame

I Want You to Want Me

Dream Police



Auf Wiedersehen





Everything about the experience was very enjoyable and when the show was over took a taxi to Buffalo Wild Wings which is a short walk to the hotel. We sat at the bar and I ordered a tall Dos Equis and 20 wings as usual. The service was superb and we had a nice time chatting with our server. We got back to the room and I crashed.

Buffalo Wild Wings 3961 Fountain Square Place Waukegan, IL

I woke up at 730 and went to have some breakfast. Phil was still sleeping. I piled a plate night with sausages and gravy and then went back to the jacuzzi. All of the housekeeping staff were exceptionally beautiful and hispanic. It was a nice experience. Phil went for breakfast and had eggs, 2 biscuits, 2 sausage patties, gravy, a banana, and 3 cups of OJ.

After we cleaned up we called for a taxi and were taken to the Great Lakes Metra station where we chilled inside and I had some custom Assman MK ULTRA dogtags made. We got back to the city and dropped off our bags at home and then walked to the store to get a few more items for the shrimp stir fry I was making. On the way I stepped into Tac Quick and was greeted with a hug from Khe Khe and I gave her the shirt. She seemed elated. The stir fry was an excellent piece of teamwork and was the perfect ending to a great weekend. Phil watched Bad Santa and Bad Santa 2 and later we watched ad Grandpa.

Monday morning I did laundry and dropped Phil off at the bus later in the afternoon. I went home and caught up with an old friend Sam in Ohio who I used to work for in my Warner Bros. days. It was very nice and made my week.

“Gentlemen, nature works in mysterious ways. When a new truth comes upon the earth, or a great idea necessary for mankind is born, where does it come from? Not from the police force or the prosecuting attorneys or the judges or the lawyers or the doctors; not there. It comes from the despised and the outcasts; it comes perhaps from jails and prisons; it comes from men who have dared to be rebels and think their thoughts; and their fate has been the fate of rebels. This generation gives them graves while another builds them monuments; and there is no exception to it. It has been true since the world began, and it will be true no doubt forever.”

- Clarence Darrow 1920