I love the darkness and the shadows, where I can be alone, and when I close my eyes I can see behind the sweet lies

June has been a trip to say the least and I’ve made many notes bother literally and mentally. I have a lot of catching up to do and maybe tomorrow but if not early next week for sure. 

* Joseph at the Laundromat and his extraordinary memory which impresses even me by bringing up one thing that everyone else that knows, knows better than to mention

tomorrow with pictures by cassie

Special thanks to my old friends at Cleopatra Records and to Shauna McLarnon at Shameless Promotion PR for the tix and photo pass. 

Everything about her was natural
Everything about her was cool
But I’m a little partial for beautiful girls
Even if they blood runs blue

I think I see her
I think I want her
I think I love her
She’s just killing me
I think she’s killing me

Her castanets are enormous
Her bongo beat absolute
And when she doin’ midnite performances
She’s got a secret somethin’ to boot

I shared this with Sylvie B earlier this morning.

This happened last night:

Watercat. Loves all things water. The squirt bottle has no affect on her at all. It’s now a bleach bottle for cleaning. She got flushed down the toilet when I first got her. I freaked., My whole arm was dyed blue from reaching down into the toilet as far as it would go. I sat pondering with grief what to do when she came running out to the living room sharing water from her fur. She was that small.


She gets into the shower, the sink, or where ever she hears water running. She puts her whole self into the cats water bowl. This crazy kitten would even go out on the porch in the winter and lay in the snow. When I do dishes she’s nuts.


But last night was the kicker. My bath rug gets wet and she loves it. She’s also been prone to pee on that rug. Do you know where this is going yet? That rug really ties the room together.So I’m doing a final 2 loads of laundry before my guest arrives this weekend. I notice the bathroom rug smell like cat pee so I take it along and wash separately. I do laundry and talk with Joseph the owner of the laundromat, he jokes how I’ve been in twice now this week, and I switch it out to the dryer, walk to the store return and fold everything for the walk home. It’s a nice Chicago evening and I have work to do on the back porch from storm damage the night before. It’s a labor but worth it. On my walk down my street I pass a guy wearing a shirt that reads LEBOWSKI 2020 and he shoots me a smile and I smile back and almost say something. I mean, the shirt alone says he’s funny and not like the Chads that live around here. Then I think of the Big HeBowski cartoon on YouTube and then of my friend Ed Kowolski and then “they pee’d on my rug”, and I think “my cat pee’d on my rug”, which is part of why I was doing laundry, and then it hits me. I LEFT THE RUG IN THE WASHER. I think out loud “FUCK”. Carried my laundry up 3 flights of stairs, then put my bike together and return to the Laundromat where Joseph was amused. THREE TIMES IN A WEEK.


AS I take the rug from washer to dryer a lady sees me and thanks me for reminding her. She was just about to leave without her own rug in a dryer. I return home when its done and proceed to work on my porch as Watercat gets into everything I move around or sweep into a pile. And I think, thanks to that guys shirt or this tale would have ended completely different. You can’t expect to leave anything behind at a Chicago Laundromat and expect to get it back.


Never Enough

Photo by Mike Preston

More text to come I promise. I’ve been working very very hard and what little time I have I’m taking care of things.June is about to end big, in a little way. Small S-M-ALL. 


Seven candles burn so bright The full moon behind a veil The ocean crashing in my head Outside the sirens wail Jet black is my dirty hair Jet black my heart and car My lips are red, my skin snow white My face is battle scarred I no longer feel the pain

How I create a story as told by Bill Murray as HST in the movie Where the Buffalo Roam: “No need to panic. I’ll just lash together a few raw facts, a little bit of old Negro wisdom, and this nightmare is over.” This is yours truly writing about LA GUNS in Rockford last Friday night.

It was just about the time we passed Elgin that the Brompheniramine I purchased in Cumberland kicked in. We were 2 hours into our 95 mile trek from Chicago’s Friday afternoon rush hour gridlock. I was still suffering from seasonal allergies and heartburn began to kick in. By some friggin miracle there was a very nice traffic flow after the OHare tolls and it was smooth sailing on the newly paved expressway to the hometown of Cheap Trick, Rockford IL. My cough had subsided and heartburn was not evident by the time Cassie parked her chariot.

At the request of Donnie Vie, best known as the main songwriter and lead vocalist of the rock band Enuff Z’Nuff, we got Johnny Monacos pants down.  Johnny Monaco is a singer, songwriter, guitar player, jester, barber & part-time socialite from Chicago. Back in March Phil Lewis and guitarist Tracii Guns have announced their new guitarist would be Monaco.



Tell us what you’re gonna do tonight, momma, There must be someplace you can go, In the middle of the tall drinks and the drama, There must be someone you know

So close I can taste it

Dad of Water Cat. I love water and hotel pools with giant frog slides are a bonus.

I don’t think I’ve ever kicked off a summer so appropriately. LA GUNS in Rockford is only 10 days away. But first, Memorial Day weAkend, a guest from Terre Haute bringing me heart attack grub followed by a BBQ jam w/ my new guitar

It’s really hard to have a bad day at work when you get to bike this on the way into the city in the morning.

Montrose Beach Pier

Looking at Montrose Beach from the pier

Three hand-seasoned all-beef patties topped with Bistro sauce, parmesan seasoning, three slices of Swiss cheese, grilled onions, Onion Tanglers, and served on a toasted brioche bun.

Two large hand-seasoned, 100% beef hamburger patties, topped with two slices of melted American cheese, iceberg lettuce, tomato, red onion, dill pickles, ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise all on a toasted bakery-style bun.

Thursday 5/24 530A

The LSD commute pix this week are for Sylvie B who is visiting soon

Finally got one of Ashley’s building

WTF? Is June 2018 trying to kill me?

Guess I lost my way, there were oh-so-many roads. I was living to run and running to live, never worried about paying or even how much I owed. Moving eight miles a minute for months at a time, breaking all of the rules that would bend. I began to find myself searching, searching for shelter again and again.

I recall only waking up once during the night. I slept through the Medved show and Hugh Hewitt was on the box and he annoyed me. I put WTTW World, took another OTC sleep aid and fell back to sleep. The alarm clock next to my bed went off at 530a and I once again slept till alarm time. When I put on WBBM News Radio I was told that it had just stopped raining. It wasn’t forecast to stop raining and after I double checked the radar prepared to bike into the office. It was 64 degrees  cloudy but very pleasant for a 7.5 mile ride. Even as I stopped to take pix and got a 5 min later than usual start I still made it door to door in 40 min. By the time I changed clothes in the restroom I was still the first human in office. It was a nice day at work. Perfect flow of busy. When I left the skyscraper which sits a block away from the lake it was a lot cooler outside and very windy. I would be biking against the wind which makes for a helluva work out. I was a human rubber band by the time I got home. On my mobile there was a call from my dear friend Morgan who lives in Alaska on the island of Sitka. It had been a few months since we spoke and I happened to have been thinking of her earlier in the day. 

It’s Tuesday night. 

Playing in CHEAP TRICKS hometown, Friday night June 1st, 96.7 The Eagle presents “Rock The Dock” at Prairie Street Brewhouse with L.A. Guns. The first of a summer concert series, ON THE DOCK.

After Prongs set with Ashley Darling and Cassie Balazic. All in all a most wonderful day. 

I swear I work as hard when I come home from the office as I do at the office

Wednesday was a really good day. It was confirmed that I got the project I’ve wanted for work and will close out my current contract on June 1. Later that afternoon the great Adam Becvare messaged me that LA GUNS would be playing July 1 in Rockford home of Cheap Trick. I’ve only been to Rockford on 3 occasions. Once I was driving back from New Glarus and the snow as so bad that we had no choice but to stay at a local motel and get up the next day and make the hazardous drive back to the city because the firm I worked for insisted I still come to work. It took 3 hours that morning to make a 90 minute drive and I believe it was the last time I ever ate at a Burger King. That company didn’t even care of someone close to you died, they still expected you to come into the office. There was no working from home in regards to that now defunct organization. 3 months later that company would fold into bankruptcy and as it fell, me being the loyal employee that I am stuck it out to the end. The next two visits to Rockford were leisure and I went to see the massive exhibit Rick’s Picks: A Lifelong Affair With Guitars & Music at Burpee Museum. 5,900-square-foot exhibit which featured not only a vast selection of Rick Nielsen’s famed guitar collection, but also tons of Cheap Trick memorabilia. LA GUNS who I’ve already seen 3 other times outside of Chicago in a year (St. Charles, Joliet and Valparaiso IN) still haven’t landed a gig within Chicago city limits which says a lot about the current state of music promoters here. I will venture again with Newbomb Turk Hoeksema a man that loves good hard rock as much as I do. One of those rare friend you find in adulthood who remains as passionate about rock music as you are in youth. 

That was two bits of good news mid-week and then I got an email from Prong’s Tommy Victor who put me and Ashley on the guest list for their show at the Bottom Lounge the next night. He needed me to run to Trader Joe’s for him. His request: Low salt cashews, almonds. Almond/cashew butter, a couple of veggie protein bars and a loaf of Dave’s bread. The next day I planned to hit Trader Joe’s after work on my way to the venue which meant my bike ride to work and back and then take CTA to the venue was out, and it was a picture perfect weather day.

Thursday it was planned that after work I meet with Heather at Nilly Cafe’. Heather for those who don’t know was the young lady I was in a relationship with for 3.5 yrs and we moved to Chicago from Indianapolis together. She was also in most of those 3 years a very big part of the MK ULTRA team as we slowly made it into what it went onto become. She was as much a part of the magazines success as anybody even though I was the face of it. I recently came across a disc of hundreds of photos of our adventures from the last 18 months of our relationship as I was going through boxes of media for the creation of the book I’m working on. I copied them to a thumb drive for her and we met up for a half and hour chat to catch up and for me to deliver the images. At 4p I had gone into the restroom on my office floor and made the transformation. Nobody in house knows of my alter ego…..yet. I ordered an iced coffee and sat outside putting in my earrings, a skull ring and tried to attach my black iron cross around my neck over my hat. I was having trouble and I heard a ladies voice, “El Diablo.” It was a nickname I hadn’t heard in years,  and in recent years only from Sinderella Pussie of Thrill Kill Kult fame. It was Heather looking like she hadn’t aged since we met. Any baby fat she still had on her once round face was gone. She had become a well sculpted mother, her facial features now defined. Yup, she’s a proud mother of a little girl and I’m happy for her. It was a nice casual  visit and hard to believe that over 20 years have passed since we met. Strange that with all the time that has passed that we are exactly the same in being comfortable in conversation. 30 minutes seemed to fly by. 

Hopefully she gets some laughs from the images. 

I went on my way at 430 and sent Tommy a text that I was at Trader Joe’s. They didn’t have Dave’s bread and luckily he messaged me that he needed some Ezekiel Sprouted Grain Bread. I managed everything in less than 10 minutes and was on my way to the west loop and the Bottom Lounge. I hadn’t been there in years. I walked in and the entire staff was amazingly friendly. No yelling like security do on the north side at venues such as Metro, The Vic(infamous) and Riviera theater. They shook my hand and took e to the dressing room where I| hung out with the band till sound check. After a nice brief visit I met up with Cassie Balazik, who was shooting the show for MK, out front and we were later joined by Ashley who just like a year ago joined me for a PRONG show.

Between sets I got a chance to talk to Lauren O’Neil the on air personality from Q101 who I met last summer at a CHEAP TRICK concert. She was wearing a very Cheap Trickesque black and white checkered mini-dress that was oh so cool.  I also got a couple of minutes with metal veteran/guitarist Shaun Glass. I saw a few other friends and enjoyed a loud and tight solid 1 hour performance of PRONG who are still at their peak and have released six records in the last six years. Tommy is in top form and Art Cruz is one of the best drummers I’ve ever seen. The crowd was really into it and the room was hot and sweaty by the time the band closed with ‘Snap Your Fingers Snap Your Neck’. We hung around a bit and I knew I needed to get home and sleep so I could go into work the next day. Ashley called an Uber and I would ride as far as the Red Line with her. On the way out I ran into Fred who I haven’t seen in a coons age and it was really nice to run into him. He also had to get up for work. I was exhausted and thought over and over about how I used to do this 5 out of 7 nights a week and go till the sun came up.

The Red Line at 10PM was a crowded nightmare at best but I made it home and into bed by 11PM and slept great now 4 nights in a row. Friday was very busy at work and very few people were in the office. Early in the morning I heard back from Captain Jack at 96.7 FM in Rockford that he’d put me on the guest list for the LA GUNS show. It was another good day. I kinda wanted to get a bottle of Irish whisky and toast my new career move with a friend but opted for pizza at the last minute. This was only the second time this year I’ve had pizza and this had to be Jets.

I did a bunch of MK ULTRA online updates and watched the season finale of Gotham. My plan was to enjoy a quiet low key weekend. Life is about to get very busy starting next week.  I woke up, had coffee and watched ‘American Swing’  a 2008 documentary about the 1970s phenomenon of swinging at Plato’s Retreat in New York City. (not one person in the 1 hr 21 minute doc looked anywhere near as good as the image below)

It’s now just before noon on Saturday. I’m full of pizza and coffee. It’s chilly out but I’m taking the bike out.




Now you`re just a memory, don`t mean nothing more to me. A photo among others of my old friends and my lovers. And the winter is gone, a new summer`s coming on. A new summer´s coming on for you as well somewhere Rosalita.

Watercat in the act

Ridin’ the storm out, waitin’ for the thaw out

So I’ve decided to name the music project/collaboration LEMMON714 and also chose an old power pop Romantics-meets-The Kinks tune I wrote in 1983 as the b-side titled “She Looks So Good” and give it a Jesus and Mary Chain-meets-Love and Rockets vibe. If all goes well the 45 rpm of “The Redhead on the Red Line Blues” will be pressed by XMAS

No biking to work next week

May 11th and the heat in my building is turned back up. It better be a long hot summer.

Six Unit Residential Building Coming To Last Remaining Vacant Lot On Kenmore

A construction permit was just issued for the long vacant lot (next door to my favorite house on the block) in Buena Park. According to the permit, 6 units are planned, each with 3 bedrooms. A rooftop deck and 2 garages providing the ever important parking for each unit is planned.

When I first moved to the block in 2005 the condos on the right went up and was followed by the condominiums across the street next to the park. I’ve seen a lot of changes in the neighborhood and more and more constructions is blowing upward all around. I only hope Buena Park can manage to maintain most of its vintage and historic charm. The first building I live in here was built in 1930 and my current residence was built in 1896. 

and so it begins

It was damned chilly Saturday and after laundry and some chores during that cycle I took a bus one hour west to the Belmont Cragin neighborhood full of unsavory or at best unkempt types that didn’t even bother to comb their unwashed hair. I took care of business in less than 10 minutes and on the less crowded and less itchy ride home with detours the rains let down also delaying game two of the crosstown classic for 2 hours which was a crowd I wanted to avoid altogether. When I got to the Belmont station (two stops from home) and went up to the platform a closed and empty train sat up top. I checked my phone and sure enough a fire at my station rerouted all train traffic going both ways. I had no choice but to take the Brown Line to Irving Park and transfer to another bus going right into the heart of Cubs/Sox traffic. My planned 2 hour 15 minute commute turned into 3 hours and 15 minutes. I got home, stripped and put on some sonic therapy which would be Type O Negative’s ‘Life is Killing Me’ platter.

The Cubs kicked the Sox ass two days in a  row.

It did cross my mind that the Dock on Montrose must really be losing money and my heart goes out to the staff there that hope to make the same tips as they did \may a year ago when it was busy almost everyday.

I’m expecting some good news this week regarding a career venture. I was told it looks positive and I’m optimistic. So today I’m getting as much spring cleaning as possible done around this huge home so with a dry weekend after a washout week of rain I can actually begin to enjoy what I work so fucking hard toward.  I’ve got PRONG Thursday and EXXXOTICA just a few weeks away.

Vigor, vim, vitality and punch, The ability to act on a sudden hunch, Nerve to tackle the hardest thing, Feet that climb and hands that cling, A heart that never forgets to sing.

350P, 10 min before I was off work and my friend Tom messaged me and wanted to meet for dinner. I went outside and it was 80 degrees.

Tac Quick had their windows were open wide and the patio open for business, finally. 

Grilled Squid: Char-broiled marinated squid with spicy chili garlic sauce.

Spring Rolls: Fresh rolls with sweet tofu, egg, bean sprouts and cucumbers with special Thai sauce.

Lad Nar Seafood Khee Mao Noodles: Medium spicy. Stir-fried seafood mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, basil leaves and gravy sauce over wide rice noodles. YUM!

Tomorrow morning, first ride to work 2018. 

Ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long.

May 1, 2018 655AM

May 1, 2018 655AM

May 1, 2018 655AM

May 1, 2018 Opening Day at the Dock on Montrose

May 1, 2018 Elotes is up to $3.50 this season

May 1, 2018 Pricele$$

May 2, 2018 645A

May 2, 2018 literally the calm before the storm.

Finally found a way to keep her from putting her feet up on the
dash, which by the way, isn’t cute.


10P May 2, 2018 as I turned off my TV I smelled smoke and then looked outside to see the house across the street with the roof on fire. 

CFD kicked some major ass. I was impressed

I’ll be filling in the blanks as this is becoming a very busy weAkend
 Krztoff  called me around 930A Thursday, I was at work and he was getting ready to go to bed. When I returned his call that evening he answered by serenading me with his rendition of Sinatra’s “Summer Wind”. The K man will be driving in from NYC for Memorial Day WeAkend/BBQ.
Missy Monroe
I love when I ask a guest what they want to hear and after their request I can deliver without using the internet. I played  the debut of Faster Pussycat on the radio back in teh 80′s when it came out. This IS the same record I played on air. it’s a promo as is the Gn’R.
When I broke out the banned Gn’R album cover she asked, “Do you know how much that’s worth?” and I replied “Do you know how much that’s worth to me?”
Just like a dummy I went to sleep last night without the aid of any meds or alcohol in my system. Big mistake. Been up since before 3AM. After work tonight I’m going to clean house, update this page, watch a movie and knock myself out. 

Well the weAk end started off good.

Friday night I grilled cod and drank some Absolut Lime with Christine who I haven’t seen in several years. Early 2014 I’d guess was the last I saw her. We didn’t make it into the second bottle and she went home and me to sleep.

Saturday I had plans to meet up w/ Greg Duncan and see the new Avengers Infinity War at the newly remodeled Davis Theater. I have a few things to do before and then biked over and made it to Lincoln Square in less than 15 minutes with traffic. I was early so went into Hansa Clipper and has a couple of tacos made by the bartender Christina’s mother. It’s a tradition. I washed them down w/ a cool Stiegl Pils. When Greg arrived we shared another and went to see just about the biggest movie I’ve ever seen. Now just huge but very heavy. The 2 hr 40 minute running time went quick. Greg’s response to the ended was perfect when he let out a loud WHAT THE FUCK! I felt the same way. We had another round at Hansa Clipper and I biked home.

Sunday I was up early that I would have liked to have been. I had been craving a Punisher from Byron’s (Double cheeseburger topped lamb gyro served on hamburger bun) but as I went to do laundry and being close to Jungle Jewel opted to make my own with their pub burgers. I got home put my clothes away and fired up the grill. I made 2 of the 4 patties, very very rare and by that I mean barely cooked. I would come to regret this about 12 hours later. I decided to watch an episode of Master of Horror and another flick called The Babysitters before watching most of The Rambler starring Dermot Mulroney and Lindsay Pulsipher directed by Calvin Reeder. In the David Lynchesque indie flick The nameless Rambler, Mulroney embarks on a mysterious journey en route to reconnecting with his long-lost brother. Traversing treacherous back roads, lost highways, and isolated small towns, he unearths a multitude of bizarre and wickedly depraved slices of Americana. It would be Tuesday before i would finish the flick.

Sunday night I tempted the fate of going to sleep without any meds or alcohol. Bad idea being that Sundays have historically been the most sleepless night of my week. Again I dreamed in Excel as my mind was on a project at work with the deadline looming. I awoke around 230AM and was sick and in and out of the bathroom and sleepless most of the morning. I was sick and once at the office sicker. I had a reaction to the uncooked beef from Jungle Jewel. I didn’t eat lunch and had cold chills and sweats most of the day. I was home by 430 took some meds and in bed before 5P and stayed asleep till 530A Tuesday. I got to work and kicked the projects ass finishing my part a day ahead of deadline.

The downside is that it was the perfect weather day for biking to work but I felt too weak and didn’t want to chance it so I took the damned CTA, on a Monday.

One month from today

Don’t know that I will, But until I can find me, The girl who’ll stay, And won’t play games behind me, I’ll be what I am, A solitary man.

A new point of view


Tommy Victor the human flying V

Sept 11 2016 I think this was after German American Fest

I finally got to sample this today and have decided it will be my new summer drink

Sunday morning sonic therapy

On April 7th Dale and I went over to my friend Tom’s house to help him load some furniture into his daughters van and to put some other items out in the alley as he is moving. He gave me this over 5 ft tall Spirit House and stand he brought back from Thailand years ago on one of his visits there. This things is quite heavy. It now has a new home in the spare room. 

Around 2006/2007 Tom brought this back from Thailand as a gift for me. It’s small but supposed to be “good” so I’ve kept it close. Now it has a proper home. My favorite part of his trips over there was the pictures of the beautiful women he met during his travels. They always made me smile. 

I’m going to get a really nice air mattress for use in the guest room. One that I can also use camping. A new guitar is being added to the family very very soon and that space will be much needed for storage when they’re not scattered about the dining room coming summer jamming season. 

Sunday afternoon very motivational sonic inspiration.